Thursday, December 01, 2005

My Pride Is Showing

One life goal I have is to learn how to avoid the traps of pride and live a real life without pretence, but also without ego. I've got the mindset down, all the "whys" and "hows," yet I still struggle. Just when I think I have fully embraced humility, I come crashing down. I savor the satisfaction of a compliment a little too long - or ruminate on a criticism with a singed pride for a few hours before finding the determination to use the helpful feedback to help me change and grow. Normally, I can sleep on it and have a refreshed viewpoint by morning. I'm not sure what sleep does, other than get my mind off of self and allow my heart and mind to be restored.

I try not to do things for recognition sake, but just because I know it pleases my Lord and Savior. I relish doing nice things for others anonymously. But then something like not getting mentioned in the newspaper credits comes up, and I deal with my pride once again.

Probably, pride is one of those beasts that is most difficult to tame. It might take a lifetime, but I am focused on learning to live a selfless life. As long as I live in this skin, I have a feeling I will face pride-traps along the way.

Onward - to the goal! Sidestep the traps, or at least learn from them, and move on. I can do that. I WILL do that!

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