My philosophy for living is to "Live Life Out Loud." This means embracing life with gusto, not wasting a day on things that don't matter. This diary will record my daily musings as a Christian, Wife, Family Member, Friend, Writer, Singer, and more. Thanks for coming along for the ride!
June has been designated as Cecil Murphey Appreciation Month, and he's come to my mind several times throughout the month. You can go to his website to read his official bio and hear about his 100+ book titles. CLICK HERE.
I want to tell you why he's special to ME.
Cec didn't know me from Eve, yet from our very first time of meeting, he has encouraged me. He listens to me and asks my opinion on issues, like what I think MATTERS. He teaches by showing me through example, rather than lecturing me. I can watch the way he lives each day to learn about the industry, about matters of faith, about life.
Cec shows me the importance of paying it forward in life. When God blesses (and He does!), rather than hoarding it, it's time to share those blessings with others. Not just finances, but time, and talent and other resources. Cec isn't the typical philanthropist. Yes, he donates funds to all sorts of worthy causes. But more than a monetary philanthropist, he's a philanthropist of the heart.
Here's how I know that--he writes me and asks for me to send him updates, and says he's praying for me. Not just at that moment. He prays for me DAILY. I must admit, I'm not even sure *I* pray for me daily! Do you realize just what a gift that is? He knows so many people that if he prayed for them all daily he wouldn't have time to do anything else. So his gift of time in prayer for me is the most generous thing he has ever bestowed upon me.
Cec isn't all bubble gum and cotton candy inside. He's got some grit about him. He dubs himself the curmudgeon. I think that's what I like about him. He's the real deal. He's genuine. He doesn't try to be something he's not. And he brings out that same transparent quality in others he mentors.
One time I spelled Cec's name wrong and he called me on it. I typed "I will spell Cecil Murphey correctly" 100 times and sent it to him. We both smiled. And you can guess—I never spelled his name incorrectly again! He has an "e" in his last name, and don't you forget it!
I am blessed to be one of the MANY who knows Cec Murphey. The man with a heart (AND a smile) as big as Texas!
(Kathy Carlton Willis)
To read a current interview with Cec, by SORMAG, click HERE.
I confess. I collect books written for pastors' wives. There aren't that many out there, so it's not a huge collection. My oldest one dates back to 1942 entitled, The Pastor's Helpmate. So, when I had the opportunity to review this new book by Lisa McCay, I jumped at the chance. Of course, the title was my first hook. Before my foot surgery, my philosophy about shoes was, it's the one thing that stays the same size, so enjoy shoes to express your personality. And the subtitle also grabbed me--And Other Great Advice from an Unlikely Preacher's Wife. I'm an unlikely preacher's wife, so this book was for me!
The book should be required reading for all women married to the ministry. It shows what real life is in the ministry and how to endure in the good times and the bad times. Lisa endorses every pastor's wife having a life. A life with friends. A life with family. A life pursuing passions. A life pleasing God most of all rather than attempting to please all the people all the time.
Lisa's transparency helps her story and advice ring true. A dose of reality with a spoonful of humor helps the medicine go down.
It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!
You never know when I might play a wild card on you!
***Special thanks to Audra Jennings of The B&B Media Group for sending me a review copy.***
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Lisa McKay and her husband, Luke, serve at a thriving church in Alabama. Together they are happily – if not always properly—raising three rowdy boys and one dramatic girl. In addition to being a wife and mom, Lisa is also a popular conference speaker.
List Price: $12.99 Paperback: 208 pages Publisher: David C. Cook; New edition (February 1, 2010) Language: English ISBN-10: 1434767264 ISBN-13: 978-1434767264
AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:
My Husband’s Calling is My Calling Too
Many are the plans of a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.—Proverbs 19:21 (NASB)
I once had an interesting conversation with a woman whose husband had enrolled in seminary to prepare for ministry. “He can take classes all he wants, but I didn’t sign up for the preacher’s wife thing,” she said. Since she didn’t believe her husband would actually follow through, she went on to tell me she planned on humoring him until the day his calling affected her. And if that day ever came? Well, she’d just cross that bridge when she came to it.
He is still in school. She is still in denial.
Around that same time I attended a pastor’s wife conference that included a panel discussion at the end. Lined across the stage, five women in different seasons of ministry shared the thing they found most difficult about being married to a minister.
I’ll never forget the response of the youngest woman. She was the mom of toddlers and was obviously distressed. “The hardest thing for me is everyone wanting a piece of my husband and not acknowledging me in the least,” she said. “I feel like the person in the background who is only here to take care of the kids so he can be free to take care of everyone else.”
I was grieved by her raw response. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around that girl and assure her she had it all wrong. That she was an integral part of her husband’s ministry. That her calling in that season was her children. That no amount of public success possibly mattered if her heart and home were in shambles. The sad thing is that I’ve met many more like her in the past fifteen years during my own life as a minister’s wife. If anything, this has intensified my desire to embrace and encourage women whom God has charged with supporting the men He has ordained to proclaim His Word.
The fact that I just typed that last sentence still baffles me. You have no idea how surreal it is for me to be writing this book. There are many of you reading who have been Christians as long as you can remember and always knew you would marry a preacher. Many more of you grew up as the child of a minister and swore you would never marry one yourself, only to find yourself eating your words. Some of you have pursued callings to various vocational ministries and met your mate in college, seminary, etc. Some of you married men who were already serving in the church. However, based on my blog surveys, a lot of your serene lives were turned inside out when your husband experienced God’s call to ministry some point after you were married.
And then on the lunatic fringe are girls like me whose life and marital background weren’t exactly résumé worthy.
A Match Made In Heaven?
My husband, Luke, and I married young. I was a mere eighteen and he a strapping twenty-one. Can I just be honest and tell you there were never two individuals any more needy or any less likely to be serving behind a pulpit?
I always cringe when we run into old high school friends. The question of what we’re doing now always comes up, and there is one response that we can count on when we share that Luke is a pastor—after the laughter dies down, that is.
“Luke, you are a preacher? And Lisa? You are a preacher’s wife?! Okay, joke’s over. Now what are you really doing?”
We would be offended if we weren’t just as baffled.
I forgive our flabbergasted friends because I can’t hold their excellent recall against them. They remember the dangerous combination of the wild boy and the bitter girl whose marriage was tumultuous at best. Surely, the future they envisioned for us was set in a divorce court rather than a sanctuary. They were within days of being absolutely correct.
There is no human reason why Luke and I should still be wed today, much less serving the body of Christ. Even though we were not yet believers, our union started off well enough. But we soon faced the heartbreaking yet all too common reality of many young couples: The stress of working different shifts, having more month than money, and living the separate lives that developed in the midst of it resulted in our parting ways and filing for divorce two short years after the ceremony.
I despised the not-yet-preacher, and the truth is I loathed myself as much as him. We had hurt each other in a million ways, and all I could think of was getting away and starting over. We were within a week of our divorce being final when one night I received a bizarre phone call from him. He told me he had started going to church and wanted us to rethink what we were doing.
I went off the deep end! I spewed, “So you are turning into a religious fanatic—and you think that is going to fix everything?” I was so full of hate and bitterness, and it still makes me blush to think of all the horrible things I said to him about his newfound religion. He continued, very patiently, to call and tell me he was asking God for a miracle as the clock ticked toward the day our marriage would be legally over.
One night during the critical week before the divorce was final, I had gone to bed, still convinced divorce was the only answer. For some reason, I woke up around two a.m. and the tears began to flow. I missed my husband so badly I could barely lay there. I remember thinking, “What is wrong with you? You cannot stand him! It’s almost over, just hang in there.” I realize now that voice was Satan’s, bent on thwarting God’s plan for us. If you ask me how I know prayer works, or how I know God can turn a cold, black heart into one that can feel love, laughter, and joy (Ezek. 11:19), I will point you to that night because it is the one that changed everything.
I called Luke the next day. One conversation led to another, and we called the lawyer to stop the divorce proceedings. I tentatively moved back home with him, and we began visiting churches. I was still not very thrilled about the “God thing,” but I knew for some reason I wanted my husband back and this would play a part. Would it ever!
One night soon afterward, my hubby came to me in our living room and told me he had just prayed for salvation. He’d gone to church his whole life, but it was only at that time he truly accepted Christ as his Savior. I grew up in a totally different denomination, so this Baptist way of doing things was a little traumatic for me. I was glad for him, but I still wasn’t so sure what that meant for me. For personal reasons, organized religion held no real appeal, so I was very afraid of how having my husband become so radically different was going to affect me and our life together. Seemingly out of the blue, I began having feelings of not being good enough for this new man, and shame over my own sin slowly entered my heart.
For me, salvation was not a lightning-bolt experience but rather an intellectual process at first. I needed to understand it. 1 Corinthians 1:18 says, “For the message of the Cross is foolishness for those who are perishing but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God.” I know the Spirit of God enabled me to believe what I was hearing because obviously I could have still walked away a scoffer. We were attending my husband’s childhood church, and the pastor became a dear friend and mentor to us both. He started a small group in his home, and I was able to ask all my questions in a very nonthreatening environment. That man was very patient with me as I asked everything from “What does ‘once saved, always saved’ mean?” to “When do you think the rapture will happen?” Sometime in the midst of those sessions, I realized I had already made a decision. That decision was for life—both for Jesus Christ and until-death-do-us-part with my husband. I asked the Lord to “officially” save me and soon afterward made that public in the body of people who had prayed so faithfully for us both.
If this had been the end of the story I would have been happily-ever-after indeed. Little did I know our tale was only beginning.
The Call
Over the next weeks, I watched Luke transform in front of my eyes. Where once stood a rough-around-the-edges construction worker, I now found a softened gentleman. Where turmoil had churned, peace now reigned. A thirst for the world was replaced by an unquenchable longing to drink up every bit of the Word that he’d neglected for the past years.
I’m in no way suggesting that a called minister is on a plane above any other Christian, but what I will say is that even in my own spiritually immature state, what I saw happening in Luke seemed to be so much more fervent than what I saw in other men. And as for my own walk, Luke’s desire made me long for more. If I can be so biased, Luke was special—an opinion I still hold.
I tell you this because I want you to understand that after Luke finally told me he believed God was calling him to minister, my head was shocked, but my heart wasn’t. Something in me perceived our life had taken a twist that surpassed simply returning to our old lives a renewed version of our previous selves. We both were experiencing intense restlessness in our jobs. I had just left an entire career on a lark. And Luke, who had always loved his trade and coworkers, began dreading the alarm clock every morning.
Have you ever read the book The Return of the King in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy? In the end Frodo the hobbit leaves his home, the Shire, after risking his life to save it. When explaining to his best friend, Sam, why he has to go, he says, “There is no real going back. Though I may come to the Shire, it will not seem the same; for I shall not be the same.” In much the same way, the dailiness of our lives had taken on a sense of not-quite-belonging in the place that had always been familiar. Accepting the fact that God was calling us to serve Him in some capacity was like turning a dial to the last number on a combination lock. The “rightness” of it clicked, and suddenly the future was wide open.
Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign
Luke and I began to pray and seek God for what He wanted us to do—definitely a first in our married lives. I have no biblical basis for what I am going to say next, but I believe God answers the prayers of baby Christians with a shout instead of a whisper. God has taught us how to discern Him more through prayer and His Word now, but in those early days He had to throw out the flashing neon signs before our own lightbulbs lit up.
The first two of those signs were named Al and Doyle. Both of these men mentioned the name of Clear Creek Baptist Bible College within two days of one another. Al had just returned from a Constructors for Christ project, during which they had built new one-bedroom duplexes for married students without children. Doyle was a longtime supporter of the school. These days I call that type of communication from God a double affirmation, but then we were still thinking, “Hmmm.… That’s odd. I wonder if we are supposed to look into this?”
And God was saying, “Ya think?” while restraining Himself from knocking our foolish heads together.
Luke hesitated contacting the school to request information because he had no hopes of getting in. What I’ve not yet told you is that he didn’t graduate high school. What dropout had any kind of chance to go to college? He finally mustered the nerve to call, and we scheduled a visit. We still didn’t know for what. Both of us realized we wouldn’t be able to go right away but thought maybe the school could give some pointers on what Luke could do to become a student someday.
We traveled to the college and were in love at first sight. The campus was set in the mountains and was absolute lush, peaceful perfection. Arriving there felt like coming home, which at the time was heartbreaking because we knew this place couldn’t possibly be in our near future.
The following day we met the director of admissions, Jay. He was and remains one of the most boisterous, joyful, encouraging people we have ever known. Luke explained his full situation—particularly the part about not having a diploma. Luke expected to hear, “Sorry, son, but you don’t belong here. Come back in a year or two when you are good enough.” Instead Jay chuckled and said, “No problem!!”
No problem? How is not having a high school diploma not a problem?!
Brother Jay enthusiastically went on to explain there was a special program in this college for men who did not have a high-school degree. They would take regular college courses and also be tutored for high school in the freshman year. Students had two semesters to pass the GED, at which point they would have official student status and all classes would count toward a fully accredited degree.
And just like that, there was Neon Sign Three, and it blinked wildly, “Road Open!”
One patient, gracious God gave us three signs in an overwhelming answer to our many prayers—and they all pointed toward our new home. (One of the homes Al built, no less!)
Absolutely Certain (I Think)
Well, enough about us—for now anyway! Since I’ve shared a little backstory with you, I’d like to talk about what I believe is one of the foundational principles of our lives as ministry wives: the nature of our own call.
I realize each of our inductions into a life of ministry was met with different levels of enthusiasm. It’s not every woman who looks forward to low salaries and high expectations. Of frequent moves and misunderstood children. Of criticism and conflict. These are just a few stereotypical pitfalls that can understandably cause a woman to put the skids on any plans her man has for serving in vocational ministry.
As Luke was processing the call God placed on his life, I was blessedly ignorant of all the things I just listed. My church experience was limited to a few years of attendance as a child, so I really had no comprehension of the chew-’em-up-and-spit-’em-out reputation of churches where ministers are concerned. Naïveté is not always a bad thing—especially when knowing all the details could result in being too fearful to take the leap into God’s plan for your future.
But what part do you play in what God is asking your husband to do? Has God called you in the same manner as him? My short answer is to state plainly that every wife has the God-given role of being a faithful helpmeet no matter if her husband is a banker, a mechanic, or a schoolteacher. However, there are unique challenges and more assured uncertainties for the wife who has the high charge of supporting a man directed to leave the familiar behind and follow God’s call into the unknown. What are some of those challenges, and how should we who find ourselves in this situation react? Let’s learn from someone who has gone before us—Abraham’s wife, Sarah.
A Woman Out of Control
We meet Sarah in Genesis 11:30 and are told simply, “[She] was barren; she had no children.” In the Middle Eastern culture, Sarah’s dignity was directly tied to her being married and having babies. Since she was childless, she would not have risked staying behind without her husband, no matter how unsure she may have been about Abraham asking her to leave Ur. There was nothing but shame for Sarah in Ur without Abraham.
And conversely, there was nothing in Canaan for Abraham without Sarah. It was out of Sarah’s infertility that God would perform one of His most awesome works—the miraculous birth of a nation consecrated to Himself. Abraham could have found any number of women who weren’t suffering from the heartbreak of barrenness to be his wife. However, the supernatural birth of Isaac was the requirement for properly illustrating God’s glory through human hopelessness.
Long before Abraham met Sarah, God purposed for the two of them to be the human agents through whom He would bless the nations. Neither of them could have participated in God’s plan alone—each needed the other. That concept is no different for those God continues to call today to spread the good news throughout the world.
When I think of all the quirks and hang-ups that Luke and I both have, it is amazing to realize that for the most part we do not have the same ones. Luke is painfully shy; I’m the social extrovert. Luke is compassionate to a fault where I am more critical. Luke doesn’t understand drama, and I am a master of it; therefore, I am able to help him comprehend the underlying issues women have when he has no clue how to proceed. God placed us together as a team to complement one another’s weaknesses and to nurture the spiritual children He has entrusted to our care. I have total and complete faith in Luke’s ability and he in mine, and yet neither of us believes for a second we could have any measure of ministry success without the support of the other.
To the reluctant ministry wife, I understand your fear. I know your need to have some input on how and where you are going to raise your family. Even the wondrous event of God entering into covenant with Abraham on the assurance of an heir was not enough to keep Sarah from trying to control the way in which the promised child would come into the world. And thirteen years later, Sarah laughed when they were told once again she would have a son. Abraham’s seed could only be reckoned through Sarah, and that required a separate faith on her part—a willing participation in what God purposed to accomplish through their son, Isaac. Sarah wasn’t perfect. She could be harsh and unbelieving and manipulative. However, Hebrews 11:11 tells us God gave her strength to participate in the creation and blessing of nations because “she considered Him faithful who had promised” (NASB).
My personal feeling is that we can make the idea of serving in ministry way more complex than God ever intended. In the case of Abraham, God promised children more numerous than the stars in the sky and the sands on the seashore, but He didn’t ask him to birth them all! He gave Abraham charge over one piece of that promise—beloved Isaac. Sometimes we can get so caught up in the enormity of what God is asking us to do that we forget the Big Picture is composed of individual frames of obedience. I’m guilty of shutting down physically and mentally when the job seems way too big—and all God has asked of me is to trust Him one day at a time. It’s much easier to walk into the unknown if we can focus on being faithful with what is required of us today, trusting God for His faithfulness in all our tomorrows.
It’s Simple, Really
Are we called alongside our husbands? Absolutely. Is the life we are called to complex? You bet. But, based on my personal experience and the example of Sarah, I believe we are asked to do three things that will simplify our thinking and therefore help us to not only accept but look forward to a certain future.
We are called to trust.
1 Peter 3:6 says, “Just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, … you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear” (NASB).
This verse is found in a passage describing how a woman’s beauty is to be found internally instead of externally (verses 1–5). Among other things, Peter describes how a woman should be in willing subjection to her husband, even if he is not a believer. Dread shouldn’t motivate her in yielding to him, but rather a healthy fear of God’s mandate to honor her husband. Sarah’s singular obedience was dually blessed. She wanted to obey God by following Abraham. God’s laws are not arbitrary and are not given without benefit attached. Sarah’s reward was the gift of inclusion into the blessing of the nations that God had intended through Abraham. If we seek to surrender our lives to God’s will through His call on our husbands, we will be given the blessed distinction of being a daughter of Sarah.
So what does this type of obedience look like in a minister’s wife? Certainly the amount of reluctance you are feeling towards this role will dictate the type of faith it will take to accompany your husband into the unknown. Hear me well when I say that no matter how much initial trepidation I feel when God asks something of our family, He has yet to call Luke to a task without also piercing my own heart. It is always heartbreaking for me to talk to ministry wives who do not express any sense of calling toward their husband’s work. The reasons are endless, but most often the wife incorrectly believes that his ministry is just another vocation and has nothing to do with her, or she absolutely wants nothing to do with a life with trappings holding no obvious appeal.
You may ask, “Is it wrong if I don’t want my husband to be a preacher? Can anyone blame me if I don’t want to leave what is comfortable and predictable? What if I don’t want to move away from my extended family?” And bigger still, “What if I don’t trust my husband to discern God’s voice?”
If you find yourself feeling this way, then it is time to look past your wants and even those of your husband and straight to the face of God. Ask Him what He requires of you. Are you willing to trust Him with your unknown? Are you willing to obey even if you believe your man has some static in his radio? I wish I had an easy answer here, but in reality these questions can only be hashed out in some sincere facedown time with the Father. Because I continually remember the comfort and reassurance He has offered me with these same fears, I can promise you He’ll invade your heart with a much-needed peace in the midst of the pain that often goes along with hard-fought obedience.
Luke and I had no idea in the beginning what our exact ministry would look like. Would we be missionaries? Would he be behind a pulpit? Would we work in a parachurch organization? We had no clue. In the same way, be assured you won’t always know every detail of what God is asking of you. However, though the what may be unclear, we can always trust the motivation of the Who. Our faith in His promises and the assurance of His continual blessing upon the nations through our obedience in spreading His Word is enough to follow our man wherever God leads.
We are called to participate.
Hebrews 11:11–12 says, “By faith even Sarah herself received ability to conceive, even beyond the proper time of life, since she considered Him faithful who had promised. Therefore there was born even of one man, and him as good as dead at that, as many descendants as the stars of heaven in number, and innumerable as the sand which is by the seashore” (NASB).
I can identify with Sarah on so many levels. Though she is heralded as a model of faithfulness, we know she behaved badly in her doubt. Just think about her side for a bit. God made these covenant promises to Abraham but never mentioned Sarah’s name once until she was ninety years old—some twenty-five years after God first appeared to her husband. She knew God promised Abraham an heir, and when the plan she hatched to speed that along resulted in Hagar’s pregnancy, Sarah may have felt left out by God entirely.
Are you like the girl in the beginning of this chapter who felt no one needed her? Do you ever feel left behind to cook, clean, and take care of babies while your husband spends the better part of his days ministering to everyone but you? Are you convinced he is having a blast crusading for the kingdom while you are stuck at home in the castle—as Cinderella no less?
Obviously the season of life you are in dictates to what degree you are able to participate in the work of the church. Listen closely, young mothers! Your ministry in this stage of life is to those precious babies in your care. If you have your own desires to serve in things such as women’s ministry, Bible study, administration, etc., your day will come. Some of you are able to soldier on and do these things in addition to caring for your toddlers, but many are just not able to do it all. And you know what? You aren’t supposed to. If you find your home is suffering and your kids are begging for your attention, then they—not church ministry—take absolute precedence. Never, ever apologize for making your family first!
My children are no longer babies, but I am just as busy with them in other ways. Diaper changing and bottle feeding have given way to homework and taxi service to whatever sport they are playing at the moment. Though I consider myself active in ministry, there are many things I don’t do. For example, I don’t always make it to the funeral home every time someone passes, due to the simple fact that I would have to bring my kids and I don’t particularly think they enjoy going any more than I enjoy having to get them dressed and wrangling them once there. I do have a tradeoff, however—I help with the meal if we are hosting one for the grieving family. The kids can hang out in a back room, and the stress is greatly relieved for them and for me. Not to mention our darling church ladies always fix the kids a plate from the leftovers. This is my way of letting the family know I love them, I care, and I am taking part to the best of my current ability without making myself crazy.
No matter if you are a seasoned ministry wife or a relative newbie, there is always one thing your congregation will pick up on loud and clear—your willingness to serve despite your inability. Do you work outside the home but do your best to participate in the body when possible? The church knows this and for the most part will understand. (Oh, there will always be exceptions!)
However, what they will not easily forgive is when you take a seat in the back and refuse to play a part—able or not. There are many women who are embittered by the demands the church has placed on their family’s life and time, therefore they refuse to support their husband’s ministry or the church body in any way, shape, or form. We’ll discuss in a later chapter the delicate balance between home and church life, but let’s just say for now that this attitude is extremely unhealthy and can be a huge detriment to your husband’s relationship with the church. The support the congregation perceives your husband receiving from you and your willingness to care for them even if you aren’t able to do all that you’d like is a bridge between their hearts and your man’s. Just like Sarah, your participation in his call is not only nice but necessary for him to effectively live out what God will do through him, whether you realize it now or not.
We are called to hope.
A life in ministry ultimately calls us to one thing: a hope for a greater glory than current circumstances reveal. I can’t think of a higher charge than the invitation to participate in God’s good intentions toward His creation. Sarah considered God faithful in His promises towards her, and because of that, she was able to look past the difficult years of childlessness and hold the manifestation of God’s blessing in her own arms.
Many years ago I watched a mafia movie (I don’t have any idea what it is called) where a gangster was teaching his young son about trust. The boy was on a ladder, and the father repeatedly told him to fall backward into his arms: “Don’t worry! I’m your father. Do you really think I’d let you be hurt?” The boy was more frightened of his dad than the fall, so he let go of the ladder. As he fell the dad stepped to the side and let him crash to the ground. His son stared up in surprised pain as the father said, “Never trust anyone.”
I think many of us have the mindset that God is the father who is setting us up for a huge fall and that we can’t trust Him to keep something painful from happening to us. The difference is He is standing in your unknown saying, “You can ALWAYS trust me!”
He never promises our lives won’t hurt, but you know what? He will always cushion us. Certainly there are hard days but in the midst of them you will find laughter, just like Abraham and Sarah. Sometimes those giggles you share will be born out of pure joy and at other times from incredulous unbelief. The thing to always remember is that you and your husband are in this thing together. There is no part of what God intends to do through either of you that isn’t intimately intertwined with the love and support of the other. God has appointed your husband according to his gifts, and your first priority as his wife is to affirm him in this role. However, many of you have desires for ministry that will involve taking off in your own direction. That doesn’t mean you supplant your hubby, but in the appropriate season, there will be many ways in which your own talents will broaden the scope of what he is able to do alongside you versus going it alone.
If You Say So
One of the coolest things about this book is the fact that these are not just my own observations! I mentioned in the introduction that I have a blog called The Preacher’s Wife (www.apreacherswife.com). Blogs are explained in greater detail in Appendix A of this book.
As part of the research for this project I asked a series of survey questions to the ministry wives who hang out with me online. (I’m excited to tell you there are a lot of them!) These Round Table discussions provide advice and encouragement from women who are serving in the trenches just like you. More than anything, I pray this book confirms the fact you are not alone in your circumstances, your joys, your struggles, or your opinions. I am so thrilled to introduce you to an online community of women who absolutely understand where you are coming from. I’ve also gathered comments from laypeople. I think it is imperative that we hear from both perspectives in order to understand one another’s hearts and hopefully build stronger relationships.
Now let me be clear: I am in no way saying that “virtual” friends should replace your flesh and blood ones. What I can tell you is that I have met many women in person that I’ve first made contact with online through my blog and they’ve become my dearest confidants. Blogs are but one fresh and relevant way to establish connections with women who will support you in your role as a ministry wife. We’ll discuss those various avenues in a later chapter centered on friendships.
For ease of identification (and to show off my excessive-texting-abbreviation skills), my blog friends will be known as the M2M Girls (as in, Married to Ministry Girls). Make sense? Let’s see what they had to share about their perspectives on calling.
Round Table
“I never wanted to be a pastor’s wife. When my husband felt called (before we got engaged) I had doubts. But, what God wanted and had planned was far greater than I knew at the time. He eventually convinced my heart to follow Him.”—Sarah @ Life in the Parsonage “I feel like my highest calling is to be my husband’s supporter, his encourager, his helpmate. I believe that my service in the home, especially at this season in our lives with small children, is the biggest call in that ministry. He could not focus on doing the greatest part of his calling—preaching the gospel—if I didn’t do mine.”—Crystal @ Life Is Nothing Without Him “As a layperson, I think it is obvious when a wife doesn’t share her husband’s passion for ministry. I don’t believe a pastor’s wife has to be everyone’s friend or attend every church event. But I do think you can tell by her general demeanor if she is ministry-minded. And, rightly or wrongly, the vibe I get from her reflects on her husband.”—Lori (layperson) “I felt a call to ministry years before I met my husband, and deep down I hoped that call meant I would marry a minister. My challenge came several years later when he started thinking about leaving the ministry and I thought, ‘Wait a minute. I married you as a minister, so you have to stay one!’ I came to realize that I was married to him—a person, not his title—and I would love him no matter what.”—Kecia @ Kecia’s Journey “I don’t know of any other occupation that my husband could have that would require me to be a part of the ‘package deal’ (for free) except the ministry. That took some getting used to!”—Sherry @ Life at the Parsonage “It’s easy to spot a woman who’s happy for and proud of her husband’s life/accomplishments/calling. It may not be easy for her to ‘follow’ when she is in the background with young children (early on), but she is proud of her man’s walk and character. That is a beautiful thing to see.”—Darnelle (layperson) @ All Things Work Together
Now That You Know:
How are you responding to God’s call on your husband? Seek out a seasoned pastor’s wife and ask her to share her experience with you for reassurance. Take the power away from the vague fears Satan will give you about the uncertainties you face by writing down what scares you. Search out the truth of God’s Word to apply to each. Afraid of moving away from family? Claim Matthew 19:29. Worried your family will not be provided for? Pray Psalm 37:25. Laypeople: Has a man in your congregation announced a call to ministry? He is often congratulated and much is made over his decision, but his wife may be struggling in his shadow. Take the time to encourage her by pointing out the gifts she has that will be an asset to him. If there isn’t a new minister in your midst, consider writing a note of encouragement to your existing pastor’s wife to let her know what a vital part she plays in her husband’s work.
The past few days have been a nightmare. If I could list the five things most likely to get to me, almost every one of those heartaches happened within a 36 hour time period. Fortunately, God's grace wrapped me up in a bullet-proof vest before the bad stuff hit. I can't explain it--I just know that left to my own responses I would be a mess. But because I'm confident I'm right where God wants me, I can rest assured that everything is going to be okay.
So, tonight when I was near tears, it wasn't because I didn't get a book deal I really wanted for a client, or a writing gig I wanted for myself. It wasn't because someone misunderstood me or created tension. Not even because of uncertainty for the future, whether for us, or our loved ones. Yet all those trials did hit over the past few days.
What got me near tears was probably a culmination of it all, if I'm being honest. Seeing an innocent elder being abused and disrespected triggered a deep sadness and a passionate anger. I've tried wording it concisely here--to try to explain why this affected me like this, but I can't put it into words. Not yet. It's too fresh. All I know is that Russ and I were left shaken and trembling. It's just too much to have to hear a sweet woman of almost 87 (who is still mentally stable) upset because she feels she's being kidnapped and yanked from all she knows and loves. The wrong ones are being rewarded and she's being penalized--SHE'S the victim. I know there are many sides to the story, but it's NEVER right to treat a senior citizen like she is an object rather than a human being. She called with such a desperate plea in her voice for us to save her, to help her. This, after an 11-day ordeal of trying to get her answers. Adult Protective Services let her down. The government let her down. Her family let her down. The nursing home administration let her down. Who was her advocate?
Russ and I have learned a lot about the "system" through this situation. It's not over yet. I think we are going to get passionate about elder rights. The system is broken. Ageism is wrong. We've got to fix this. And in the mean time, may the Good Lord wrap a shawl of grace around this dear senior saint and let her know she is loved. Bring someone special into her life who will be Jesus to her. Give her hope again. Protect her from evil. May someone pick up the fight wherever she is taken and give voice to her questions and heartaches. Why does it have to be so many states away from here? Only God can help. Only God.
I flew to Orlando on January 28th and host Cheri Cowell picked me up at the airport. Cheri was a prior publicity client of mine, and we've developed a friendship over the past couple of years. We have lots of great talks about life, especially as it pertains to writing, speaking, and ministry. She opened up her home for me to stay 3 nights, total.
The Word Weavers of Florida invited me to be their retreat speaker Friday through Sunday. Within minutes of meeting these writers, I felt like I knew them all. The entire event was great. Lot's of "aha moments" and "light bulb" moments as listeners related personally to a topic or realized how to apply something I said to their own lives. So rewarding!
Like most events, I was "on" from the moment I stepped out of my room until the moment I determined I couldn't say another word of conversation for the day. All told, I spoke for about 4 hours on workshops and keynotes, about 3 hours on panel discussions with a couple others, and lots of one-on-one time. The retreat was hosted at a very nice encampment and my room was like a hotel room. We were there from Friday night until noon on Sunday.
Sunday I took one appointment in the afternoon--over the next 30 hours or so I consulted with 12 writers, during one hour appointments. Lots of really great ideas started flowing with all this thinking going on. Dangerous huh? :o)
Sunday night Cheri and hubby Randy drove me to Titusville so I could get my fill of rock shrimp, served much like itty bitty lobster bites, with drawn butter. YUM. I first had this delicacy a few years ago and have tried to figure out how to get more of it ever since then! When I saw the Titusville sign and shouted out "ROCK SHRIMP," Cheri made sure I had this little outing away from work. Very nice!
Also a break, we went to hear Eugene Peterson, translator/writer of The Message Bible and many other books. At 77 years old, I knew that hearing his point of view was a source of wisdom audiences may not get to hear for many more years. Obviously I didn't agree with every point, but I could respect his passion and his wisdom. He gave me a great deal to think about!
At this same event (at Asbury Theological University), I enjoyed the St. John's Episcopal Steel Orchestra from Kissimee, FL. They were amazing. Their talent spanned about 60 years, from an 8-year-old boy to a senior citizen lady. Their island music thrilled my soul. Especially Beethovan's Fifth, which I can't seem to shake from my brain's concert hall! Not a bad problem to bring home on the plane.
My entire trip was wonderful. Good fellowship. Great opportunities. Incredible ideas. Special people.
I started this note by saying I was back home and finally up to speed--but now, almost a week later, I'm still feeling like I'm playing catch up!
This year I'm going to be flying at least eight times that I know of, and it's just January! So that number could go up if I book any more events. I leave tomorrow morning for Orlando, where I'll be the retreat speaker for the Word Weavers. It's going to be a great weekend with the theme SuperMarketing. It will be a play on what we do to market ourselves and our books, and on the supermarket. The team has planned an imaginary WeaverMart store, for games and decorations and I might even take a trip to WeaverMart!
So...today I'm packing. I'm getting pretty good at this. I have a few suggestions for others who are traveling this year and want some tips.
I use the spacebags designed for luggage. It doesn't require a vacuum cleaner. I put all my clothes inside the bag. Lay down on it to squish all the air out until it looks like an astronaut's meal. It gives me more space in my suitcase AND surprisingly, it helps with some of the wrinkling.
With what wrinkling does happen--as soon as I get to my destination I pull out my clothes and hang them up. Then I retrieve an empty spray bottle I always pack, fill it with simple water, and spritz my clothing. This freshens it up and the wrinkles fall out over night. No need for fancy products!
I try to pack my clothing in a couple of basic color combinations so I can coordinate them like grown-up garanimals. And it limits my shoes and jewelry needs.
I have a travel notebook that has all my important contact information for people where I'm going, for people from home in case something happens to me, my medical information, my agendas, my boarding passes, etc. This time it will include the cell phone number of the person picking me up since she will be hanging out at the cell phone parking lot waiting for a call--then she will pull up to the arrivals where I'll be waiting for her. This saves time and money and also reduces the number of cars hanging out around arrivals waiting for their passengers--a security thing.
I'll write more travel tips in the next day or two. In the meantime, please pray for my travels. I never take safety or security for granted. I rest in God's hands--as do each one of us!
During Summer 2009, I met the wonderful faculty and staff of the Rio Grande Bible Institute. They used our church facility to meet for their staff retreat. There was an instant connection, like they were members of my family. And my heart was blessed to observe their joy in action. They had a clear sense of purpose and a fired up passion for outreach and ministry to the Spanish-speaking world.
Recently, Russ received a call from Robert Crane, Director of Ministerial Advancement at the institute. He invited us to go to Edinburg, TX to visit the campus. Thursday we made the 50-minute trip. Yes--that close to home!
First we dined at the famous Echo hotel with Bob, along with the president of the institute, Dr. Larry Windle, his wife, and about 20 guests and staff from Bibleville. The hotel was like stepping back into the high society of yesteryear. And great food!
Bibleville is a Christian retirement center with some all-year-round residents as well as hosting hundreds of Winter Texans and locals at Bible conferences, music concerts, trips to Mexico and ministry opportunities. They have about 100 RV hook-ups and over 100 mobile homes available.
After lunch, we drove to the campus and had a lovely tour. The weather was 84 degrees (yes, in January!), and the landscaping was colorful, so it made for a good day. Felt like I was playing hooky or something.
The Bible Institute is a place where Spanish-speaking students can attend courses for training in Bible, theology and Christian education. The goal is to equip workers for the ministry.
The campus also houses a Missionary Language School, where missionaries preparing for the field can come to learn Spanish in a 10-month intensive study. They are often paired with a national from the region of Latin America where they will be ministering, to assure they learn the dialect and slang phrases of their region.
There is also a correspondence school and video ministry for distance learning. And Radio Esperanza reaches thousands of Spanish-speaking listeners in South TX, Mexico and beyond. They often receive 5,000 calls per month in response to radio programming, with requests for prayers and counseling.
The staff and faculty of the institute come from all over to serve the Lord here, and they are financially supported through churches and individuals. This is a true mission work.
Besides Bibleville, there is also a Winter Worker Program for retired friends who travel South to avoid cold weather. They agree to work a certain number of hours per week (I think it is 28 hours), in exchange for a free RV hook-up. But they get so much more. The fellowship alone is reward enough.
We saw retirees painting desks, doing maintenance, working on landscaping, and quilting blankets to take in to Mexico. It was clear this institute could not function without volunteerism and mission support.
I enjoyed the tour, and now have a better idea how to pray for Rio Grande Bible Institute. I'm sure they would appreciate your prayers as well.
Monday night I watched the premiere episode of American Pickers on the History channel. It was right up my alley. (Mom--you would love it too!) In fact, several times during the show outbursts could be heard in the room, "I want this job!" "I would love this job!" "I want to be a picker!"
Russ finally had enough of my exclamations and proclaimed as the final statement on the subject, "Okay, then. Go ahead. Start a new business." With a smile on his face. He knew I was really into this show--and truth be told--so was he!
What is an American Picker? These two men have a business traveling to different homes looking through people's "stuff" to find treasures. They get leads of people who have yards or barns filled with junk. Some are probably hoarders. All have fascinating back-stories.
So, the camera crews go along, and document the stories behind the objects of interest, and also show us how the negotiating process works best (and when it doesn't work at all). They show us what they pay, what the estimated value is, and how much they stand to profit on the items.
The personalities are fun, the stories are heartwarming, the information is educational. It's a winner.
Check it out.
And for my back-up career, I think I'm gonna be an American Picker!
Our church sponsored the Link Family for the third annual concert on our Discover First day. It was absolutely amazing. First, our people did a great job with yummy food (and lots of it!). Thanks to Charlene and her kitchen crew for making us all feel so welcome as we fellowshipped.
The Link family did not disappoint with their tight harmonies, both in music, and family feel. They entertain, but even better, they make my heart beat a happy rhythm and my toes tap a jig. Their lyrics and music style all have deep roots, either in faith or culture. And for me personally, it was like combining church from the early 1900s with one of my family reunions where several of Mom's cousins brought out their instruments for an impromptu jam session as we gathered round in the backyard. A time and place where the violin was called a fiddle and even the fireflies blinked their lightning bug tails in time to the tunes. Good times--innocent times. It all came back to me.
An hour with the Link Family leaves my spirit feeling lighter, my mind refreshed, and my heart filled with joy.
And I'll let you in on a little secret--conversations with each of them do just as much for me as their music. Why? Because they are real--genuine. They love God and love each other. They go through this routine over and over and over again, but they haven't let it get them weary (or at least, they don't show it). Their smiles are authentic. Not Hollywood fake but heavenly real. They remain humble even though they've won award after award for their excellence in bluegrass and gospel music.
Here's a recent press release, to help you learn more about them:
The Link Family is a true family band, featuring Dad, Mom, five children and two in-laws from Lebanon, Missouri. They are having the "time of their lives" traveling on their Silver Eagle bus and sharing their music in churches, bluegrass festivals, theaters, Silver Dollar City, US Military bases, R.V. parks and misc. events. The family consists of Rachel (21), Kyle (20), Benjamin (13), Aaron (10), John (9), Becky (Mom), Lance (Dad), son-in-law, Landen Keeler and daughter-in-law, Ashley Link. Each member of the family participates in performing. Rachel brings to the group a strong lead and harmony voice while playing mandolin, guitar and bass. Kyle plays all the instruments on stage, mostly fiddle and guitar while singing lead and harmony. Benjamin also plays all the instruments on stage, mostly banjo, sings lead and harmony. Aaron sings lead and plays the fiddle while John sings lead and is learning mandolin. Becky plays rhythm guitar and bass while singing lead and harmony and Lance brings in the foundation sound on the bass fiddle, sings bass as well as being our bus driver and manager. Landen joins us this year as sound man and Ashley adds twin fiddling with Kyle.
Traveling and singing together has its joys and challenges while giving allowance for The Link Family to learn much about life as a family, to meet the many wonderful people that make up the strong fabric of our nation, and to see the beauty of the American landscape. This family group brings a refreshing performance that will leave you smiling, encouraged and tapping your foot.
It's been real important to readjust my attitudes often by keeping a heart full of gratitude. So, I'm going to start posting my gratitude lists here. Maybe it will inspire some of you to make your own lists. I always try to include both small and large topics on my lists because all good gifts come from the Father of Lights and He's the object of my gratitude.
1. My KCWC business is expanding this week: new department, new clients, and new staff person joining my firm. I’m pinching myself in delirium!
2. New recipes to try—a great way to save money and to have fun in the kitchen. The pans don’t wash themselves, but that’s the only down side.
3. A new set up to have a TV w/ dish DVR in the guest bedroom. A perk for our guests, and now we can lay down to watch TV at naptime, but still not have a TV in our own bedroom which is a big no-no in marriage. Best of both worlds this way! Sunday naptime was never better, just sort of falling off into la-la land.
4. Church was uplifting Sunday. I love working with the teens, and got to sing a couple of songs with my husband and another guy (thanks Jesse!) during worship service with guitar accompaniment. SWEET!
5. My office is almost completely organized, and when my new clerical assistant comes in to work, we’ll have it whipped into shape in no time. I’m excited! Nothing like a little bit of organization in the New Year to provide some sort of satisfaction and fulfillment!
by: David Joachim, The Editors of Men's Health List Price: $15.99 Binding: Board book Dewey Decimal Number: 641.612 Publication Date: June 17, 2002 Publisher: Rodale Books
(Unsolicited Review)
Okay, you all are going to have a good laugh. That's okay! I love trying gourmet recipes and southern recipes and ethnic recipes. You name the food combinations, I want to try it. So, this cookbook seems exactly opposite to what I love about cooking.
A bachelor friend of ours invited us over for a meal. It was a yummy chicken and noodles combination, and he admitted it was inspired from a recipe he found in this cookbook. When he pulled out the entire collection for us to browse through, we realized just how brilliant this is. It's sort of like garanimals for pantry foods, to get a meal on the table quick. The recipes are good just as they are, but many times you can think of something similar that would also work in a pinch, and that new combination also turns out to be a success.
I bought the book for Russ to use since I travel so much. But on days I'm working 14 hours, we are finding these recipes a helpful alternative to trying to eat out in a town with very few eat-out or take-out choices.
So now, like Rich, I want to go buy the entire set of books. I purchased our copy "like new" through a used bookstore, so you don't have to pay retail price to get good recipe ideas.
There are ingredients in the book we don't like, so we just use those recipes as "starting off points" for new recipes using ingredients we do like. And some recipes are great as is.
For anyone needing to use staple goods more than fresh foods, or for simple cooking when crunched for time, these are great starter recipes. These would be great for hurricane recipes, camping and hunting recipes, and budget recipes.
This week, three of our meals came from "A Man, A Can, and a Plan" and I'm guessing we will try at least two recipes a week from this helpful guide. And then, on days when I have more time and money to focus on the more complex recipes, I can return to my beloved "foodie" hobby!
I'm still a firm believer that God is The Great Networker. In situations too amazing to be coincidence, it's been mind-blasting to see the different opportunities that cross my desk. Just today I enjoyed three phone visits with others in the industry looking to be stretched as they grow in their craft. And earlier this week I made other connections equally thrilling. January 2010 is already shaping up to be an incredible month--maybe the best January on record!
It would be easy to get intimidated by some of the names I get to assist, but really the ones I'm most blessed to serve are the ones who aren't impressed by their own fame--and also the ones who aren't down in the dumps about their LACK of fame (since I serve both ends of the spectrum). They are all just honored to get to be a part of the Big Picture, serving God and the better good through purpose and passion.
It's the divas who think they are something they're not that are more difficult to endure--they seem to think life owes them a favor through me. But really, I'm surprised, dealing with creative sorts that we are, that we don't have more divatude drama than we do have. It's such a small part of what fills my days.
The big part? Getting jazzed about the ideas we cook up to help our clients shine, and to help them reflect the Light. Sensing a connection, a commonality, even upon the very first meeting.
It all starts with introductions set up by very God. He is the connecting point.
I moved my achey breaky bones to the tippy-toe of Texas, partly to get away from the freezing cold winter weather of the north. I did a pretty good job of playing hide-and-seek from Mr. Winter until today. We are now officially experiencing the coldest of our "four seasons," and by morning, with wind chill it will feel like 15 degrees. WHAT?
My body feels like a human barometer. Even my fur baby, Jazzy is feeling the chill. No worries though--she's comfy cozy in her pink fleece cover-up, and she only has to go out when nature calls.
I know, I know...I have no reason to complain. In a few days it will be sunny and in the 70s again. IDEAL. And you can bet, when the sun warms us back up, I will not take our sub-tropical weather for granted. At least for a few days...until my mind forgets the goose bumps.
I'm no mind reader. So why do I expect others to be? I say I'm a communicator, but I'm finding out just how poorly I communicate when it comes to what others should just KNOW. I assume way too much!
For example, the day before Christmas I had plans to get the house and meal ready for our company on Christmas Day. I had the entire day planned out to the hour. Did I communicate that with Russ? No...I forgot that important step. How was he to know? He doesn't read my lengthy lists. He doesn't read my mind. So, he guessed on how he could best help me, and he came close--but not quite.
So, on Christmas Eve day, he tore into the house to completely redo two rooms. Probably the best gift I received this Christmas. But it wasn't on my agenda to do that day. What if the project was too big and wasn't completed by the time our guests walked in 24 hours later? What if he needed my help and it kept me from doing what had to be done to get the meal ready? All of those "what ifs" could have been avoided if early on I had asked Russ what he wanted to do that day, and if I would have told him what I thought my plans might be. Ended up well (really well, in fact!). I hope to share photos of my office soon. But the day was completely rearranged all because I assumed.
New Year's Eve delivered yet another break in communication--this time with my pharmacy. I needed a refill of an anti-seizure medication that isn't supposed to be stopped cold turkey or the body goes through withdrawals. I didn't realize it, but this medication (Lyrica) is a controlled substance. Even though I had one refill left on my prescription, and even though the prescription was ordered the middle of 2009, six months later it was no longer valid due to being a controlled substance. No problem--I had a back-up prescription previously faxed to the pharmacy from my doctor for all my meds. Pharmacist looked it up--he found the fax with every medication listed EXCEPT the Lyrica. I was out of luck. The doctor was gone for the rest of the week--a holiday.
I assumed the refill was valid. I assumed the fax was there on back up. What did I get for my assumptions? A great big dose of withdrawals--something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Now I know in order to properly communicate I need to be sure of something rather than just assume it took place (like confirming the fax from the doctor included all of my meds).
So, today I start the new year, HOPING the doctor is in the office, HOPING the prescription gets ordered soon, HOPING I reverse these withdrawal symptoms quickly. But, I'm not just getting a dose of Lyrica today, I'm getting a dose of reality.
This gal who says she's a communicator, who owns a communications firm, needs to communicate better.
And I'm guessing if you're honest, that's something you could work on in 2010 as well!
Back in 2002 I hosted a retreat in my home, and a guest from Brazil taught me how to make Brigadeiro. Her version used the microwave, but I can't find that recipe. Remembering the ingredients, I went to allrecipes.com and found this version, with my notes added. It works great!
So, yesterday, to ring in the New Year, I made these little chocolate truffles to take to a party. The photo above is a photo of my little creations. FUN!
Directions: In a medium saucepan over medium heat, combine all 3 ingredients. Cook, stirring with a wooden spoon, until thickened, about 12 minutes. Remove from heat and let rest until cool enough to handle. Form into small balls (I do this by using a miniature scoop and plopping a scoop of the chocolate mixture into my Pam-sprayed hand to shape). Roll into topping of choice (I used candy and chocolate sprinkles). Chill until serving.
Makes about 20 little balls. I like putting them inside little fluted paper liners.
Normally I set a bunch of annual goals rather than making resolutions. And I still might do that some, especially with my business and with ministry. But to be honest, I sense that God is calling me to a different focus this year. Not so much about bettering "me." In fact, a reduced "me" focus is called for. Goals this year will be focused on ways for me to grow relationships (with God and others) and ways I can serve others.
Maybe I'll toy around with heightening all 5 senses, not just physically, but internally: Focus Taste Feel Hear Smell Savor
Let's see how that shapes up this year.
Proverbs 34:8 (NLT) Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!
When I first started this blog in November 2005, I was full of ideas to share with my very few readers (mostly family and friends). My goal for the blog started out simple: to stay connected with those special to me. Then as time went on, I added more to the blog and more reasons for the blog. But about three years ago I started learning "rules" that put a damper on my blog-writing enthusiasm. I became too concerned with what some would think about my posts (too personal, too much drama to be real, too "religious," too too...). And this last year, my blog posts dwindled to almost nothing. In 2010, I'm going to find my blog voice again.
I once heard that "normal" is only a setting on a dryer--not on humans, and I'm beginning to believe that! None of us are untouched by trials or get through life without pain of some kind. Suffering is merely one side of a coin, we each get to experience the other side of the coin as well, if we so choose--peace and contentment.
And really, if you think about it, there's no such thing as a family that ISN'T dysfunctional in some way! Some just know how to function better with the dysfunction than others.
No matter how "normal" I try to act, I realize that I am NOT normal when it comes to my health. Someone called it "handicapable" rather than "handicapped." I don't care what you call it, but it is inconvenient! Today I tried going to the post office. A rather "normal" task, right? Wrong! I had three crates of pre-stamped packages to drop off. I got the bright idea of taking my briefcase roller bag, thinking I could put one crate on TOP of the case, and use the rollers as a way to get the crate inside, allowing my other hand to hold the cane.
Since I thought I was closer to "normal" I had let my temporary handicapped parking placard expire and so I couldn't park in the handicapped parking spot. But I needed that ramp to roll the crate up to the sidewalk. So, I parked on the other side of the parking lot and had to roll the crate across the uneven surface where the cars drive through, to get to the building. Of course in the middle of the busiest spot the wheel caught a bump and the entire crate toppled over, spilling the precious cargo all around my feet. Cars had to stop because of this crazy woman in the middle of the drive, with scattered white padded packing envelopes surrounding me like spilt milk. I dropped my cane to the ground and picked up the packages, placing them back in the crate, and thought I'd try once again to make it to the door, but the roller bag crumpled under the weight.
A Good Samaritan witnessed my plight and came over to carry my crate to the counter for me. What a gentleman! And the postmaster watched my crazy stunt, so when I confessed I still had two more crates of packages to bring in, he loaned me a hand-truck to use. So, I rolled it and the busted roller bag back out to the car, and again worked diligently to position the crate on the cart to roll inside. I forgot to mention there was police tape cordoning off the largest portion of the sidewalk in front of the post office due to the glass getting shot out this week, so I had to go the LONG way to get to the door. No shortcuts in life, right?!
So, each time I made it to the door, more Good Samaritans opened the door for me so I could make it inside. What a sight I must have been, me with my cane in one hand, the cart toting these crates in the other hand, and sweat pouring off the back of my neck.
All of that because I didn't want to admit I'm "challenged" and ask my husband or someone else to drop off these crates at the post office!
Maybe I need to readjust my thinking about my normal status after all!
Some of the things I wanted to share about our Seattle vacation regard the personality and style of the town. It's like no other town I've been in: liberal politics, alternative lifestyles of every sort, eco-friendly, natural, multi-ethnic, vibrant, colorful, energetic, eccentric, etc.
Clothing styles like I've seen nowhere else in my travels--as ecclectic as the personalities, mixing function, message, and style. Women of all ages and shapes wore leggings under dresses or long shirts or under shorts. You name it, they had on leggings. Some with high heels to rival the space needle, others with tennis shoes that advertised a walking to work pedestrian. If not leggings, the skinny jean.
More dreadlocks, less deodorant. More walking, less driving. More coffee, less tea. More languages, less litter. More fresh, less canned. More entertainment choices, less church buildings. More Smart Cars, less SUVs.
The weather alone made me happy. The view...happier still.
And for this public relations gal, the palpable BUZZ was thrilling. Maybe it was all that collective coffee drinking (me withstanding).
Here are some photos to tell the tale of Seattle moods:
So, I realize that there's no way I can write about all the thrilling things we did in Seattle in the detail I'd like to give. I'm going through a type of "boot camp" physical therapy right now and so I'm not exactly riddled with extra time and mental focus after giving my clients first dibs to my brain and creativity. So, I'll have to do the Seattle: Condensed Version report.
The rest of Day One consisted of:
Eating at FareStart (a restaurant where they train jobless, often homeless individuals to learn the various jobs associated with running a 4-star restaurant).
Unfortunately, I had some sort of bug, and so I didn't get to enjoy my meal much. Russ had a BLT w/Haddock.
After resting a bit at the hotel, we walked down to my first peak of Pike's Market. It is amazing. I could go there every day! If I lived in Seattle, I would rarely buy food in a grocery store. Can you imagine cooking with fresh ingredients every day. WOWZER! And this market has a little of everything. We went almost every day of our trip--so I'll share photos throughout the blog posts. Here's a start:
Then, we ate at a French restaurant called the Maximilien at the market. By this time I was hungry and opened with the best French Onion Soup I've ever eaten, then enjoyed the best filet mignon, with gourmet mashed potatoes and veggies and bread with the BEST butter. If we had dessert, I can't remember. The other great part of the meal was the view of the water from our table. And the waiter was French--his accent added to the ambiance of the entire experience!
Kathy Carlton Willis grew up in small-town America and married her highschool sweetheart, Russ. They both graduated from Baptist Bible College. Kathy is a freelancer, and works as: writer, editor, publicist, writer’s coach, book doctor, speaker, and more. Kathy is somewhat of a grammar guru, with columns for writers appearing in several publications, including ByLine Magazine. She has a background in newspaper journalism, working as copyeditor and feature writer for The Sunday Challenger. She loves encouraging other writers, and believes in paying it forward in the industry. Kathy and Russ share their home with two fur-babies, Jazzy and Libby. They’ve been in ministry for over 20 years. Others admire Kathy’s passion and zest for life. Her life is a testimony of God’s sufficient grace in the face of adversity. Kathy is also well respected for her practical and often humorous messages full of hope and insight. Audiences are impacted by Kathy’s willingness to be transparent during her messages and also wait for one-on-one time with her after her speaking events. Her most recent article appeared in Victorian Homes Magazine.
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