Friday, June 10, 2011

JUNE JOURNEY: When It Comes to Expectations...

When it comes to expectations…
I truly am learning to give the benefit of the doubt—but I’m also praying a little differently today based on some discernment.
I’m learning:
  • To communicate more clearly and not expect people to read my mind, or attempt to read their minds.
  • To realize everyone has “stuff” that comes up that keeps them from fulfilling their commitments, and I need to be as flexible with others as I hope they will be with me. That Golden Rule again!
  • When others reply or react in a way I find unacceptable, I have several options in handling the situation. First, I need to take it out of the realm of “feelings” and put it in the realm of godly thoughts and actions. Choose to react and respond AFTER I have a plan to do it the right way. I must be intentional in disengaging my feelings from the response so that I’m not allowing my buttons to be pushed.
  • Sometimes when others respond in ways that rub me the wrong way, it’s because I had in my mind a more acceptable response and they missed the mark. Here’s my expectations showing: my first goal in any misunderstanding even in a short e-mail or by phone would be to reassure the other party and alleviate their concerns, so I expect others to be that way with me. Only after I reassure someone, would I tackle the issues. When others don’t do that, they let me down. I need to realize others aren’t as in tune to affirming others.
  • My timetable is not the same as others. My priorities aren’t the same as others. I need to give grace on that, and be okay with the differences, even thanking God that we are all different.

I’ll be honest. I’ve been praying how to better handle my expectations because it’s not healthy to wait until I’m in the middle of a disappointment to come up with my game plan. I have to plan in advance to have a strategy how to handle issues. Otherwise, “in the moment” I might let my feelings mess things up (for me, or for others).

(Tomorrow I'll write about when to walk away...)

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