WARNING: Highly Opinionated-Part Two

Someone wrote me to remind me that while all sin has the same price (which Jesus paid for on the cross), that there are different consequences for different sins. Some sins affect more people than others, and cause more damaging results.

This was my reply:

You brought up a good point. There are different consequences for different sins. I think that is why I'm so burdened about this topic. If there are certain sins that have greater consequences, why do we act more hateful to those individuals? Why do we put up a wall between us rather than reaching out a hand to draw them into our loving guidance to the TRUTH? Why do we preach messages of hate, very similar to messages I hear from prejudiced individuals about someone of a different skin color? I have heard preachers make fun of homosexuals from the pulpit and call them names, and then wonder when the invitation is given why the lesbians in their congregations don't come forward. I've seen people who call homosexuals "those people" in a tone similar to Archie Bunker talking about a different culture or color. I've seen people coordinate boycotts, but they won't take a casserole across the street to the gay couple who have had a setback.

How in the world are we going to reach these beautiful individuals who God created with loving tenderness who have a greater consequence for their choice of sins, if we draw a line between "us" and "them"?

I know there are people who say they have a gay person in their lives, but they still mock them, much like a prejudiced person says they have an African American friend, which somehow seems to allow them to make black jokes and still have a heart.

But to use that same "I have gay friends" statement that some say before they make a gay-bashing joke--I have had gay individuals in my life as long as I can remember. Some of the people I was closest to in my childhood were gay. I can count at least eight before I was 17, in a small town of 4,000. In my adult life it seems the Lord has opened my eyes to the hearts of several others who have chosen the homosexual lifestyle. When a lesbian stayed in my home for a weekend retreat, my heart was so touched by her plight that I have never been the same. She was struggling to find her way in this world, and so open to biblical truths, when given with doses of love and not condemnation.

Some say they could NEVER be a homosexual. Don't be so sure. I have to admit, there but the grace of God go I. What does that mean? If I had not been introduced to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ at an impressionable age, I could have gone down a different path. When diagnosed with a reproductive congenital defect at the age of 17, I'm not sure what I would have done without the peace of Christ that passes all human understanding. I have known many others with the same anomaly who have become lesbian after the diagnosis because of their confused hearts and minds. That could have been me.

A cousin who was as close as an older brother lived a homosexual lifestyle. That wasn't the only thing that defined him as an individual, but I'm sure it was all a gay-hater could see. But if you could get past that, you saw a phenomenal human being. He died at a young age last year about this time, all alone. His passing has caused me to reevaluate many things "religious." Was it a message of hate that drove Mark away from the life in Christ he embraced as a teenager?

I am not condoning any sin. I'm just against treating some sinners as more despicable than other sinners. Since some do face great consequences than others, we should reach out to them with open arms rather than closed fists.

WARNING: Highly Opinionated!

This week Elton John made the news by stating he thinks organized religion should be banned because it has encouraged hatred against homosexuals. I'm not sure what you thought about that statement, but I had three main thoughts rushing through my mind. I know it isn't a feel-good inspirational topic, but perhaps I can share my thoughts in such a way as to build up rather than tear down.

My first thought was a quip I've heard my husband say when someone objects to church because they are against "organized religion." He ponders, "Would you rather have UNorganized religion?" Sir Elton said he likes the teachings of Jesus, but he isn't a fan of Christianity. Isn't Christianity the study of Christ's teachings (perhaps in an ORGANIZED way?).

But if you get past that basic question, I have to acknowledge that Elton John has a valid point. Not the part where he wants to ban religion, but that religion has encouraged us to hate people who aren't like us. I've heard the saying, "hate the sin, love the sinner" but to be honest I've read quite a bit of e-mail that sounds a lot like hate to me.

I believe homosexuality falls into the same category of sins as other sexual sins. Expanding that thought further, no sin is worse than another when it comes to the price. There isn't one sin that is minimal enough to not cost Jesus His life. The unbiblical choices I make each day that cause me to rebel against God and His teachings puts me in the same category as a homosexual or a murderer. It's just easier for people to preach about someone else's sins than their own.

The third thought that came to me when I heard Elton John's quote is the part about religion being banned. The term religion as we know it is a practice of tradition passed down from previous generations, based on a set of doctrines regarding how we view God or god (depending on the religion). I'm guessing those who practice religion probably struggle with hating those who do not live by their set of beliefs. But those who take religion a step further, who live a RELATIONSHIP with Christ, spill out love in the same way He spilled out blood for each one of us. Not condoning the sin, but building trust and respect from those who have different belief systems.

Let's not ban organized religion. Let's ban hate. Let's get off of our spiritual high horses and admit our sins break the heart of God just as much as the sins of others. Maybe that's what the Bible means when it mentions we must get the big ol' sticks of wood out of our own eyes before we can get the splinter out of the eye of the one we want to judge. And maybe then, with a clearer focus, we won't want to pick on the other person at all. We will just want to live a life that reflects Christ.

I'm sorry, Elton John. I'm sorry that you have received a message of hate from pulpits and lecterns. But if you read more from the teachings of Christ which you say you believe, you will see just how much He loves you and wants to draw you to Him. Open arms. Open heart.

my "Bag Lady"

I have to tell you a neat thing that happened at our Fall Friendship Tea. We had a purse theme, and so I wanted to decorate the stage area with handcrafted purses. I contacted about 5 different purse makers, through a google search. Only one said "yes." Guess where I found her? On eBay! So, I invited her to attend as my guest, and bring her handbags to be on display. She brought a baker's rack type shelf unit to display them on. Some of the ladies teased me for inviting a perfect stranger to the Tea. They said she could have been a serial killer or axe murderer or something.

She came early, to set up, and then had to wait over an hour for the Tea to start. I had asked a friend to come early to sit with this special guest, since I would be tending to last minute details, but she hadn't arrived yet. So, this "bag lady" asked if she could help us do anything. Normally I would have been horrified to say "yes" but I know when I go speak somewhere, I'd much rather help out than "sit pretty" at the head table all by my lonesome. So, I took Dixie up on her offer to help. She was a real sweetie, and had a ton of fun being "one of the gals."

The Tea went great (yay)! And after the Tea, Dixie and I were saying good-bye. She asked, "can I have a hug?" I told her I was a hugger, and we hugged like we were long lost friends! She said the Tea had blessed her heart sooooo much, and she was glad she came.

Now how cool is THAT?

For Novelists

Are you a novelist? I just ran across two new services offered by Glass Road Public Relations. You might want to check them out.

#1-Speakers' Bureau. What? Fiction writers speak too? You bet! The bureau will help you come up with great themes and will actively pursue events for you. They coordinate deals with bookstores so that you don't have to tote your books to every event, which will drive your sales numbers up (when your purchase books to sell, they do not go towards your sales number).

#2-Blog tours. Blog tours are offered with the full PR package. The numbers show that sales go up with a successful blog tour. Now GRPR offers a blog tour package for those who don't want the complete PR package. They work with over 100 bloggers to coordinate tours for you. These include book reviews on blog sites, book giveaways, and author interviews.

If you (or someone you know) might be interested in either of these two new services, check them out at the following website:
http://glassroadpr.com/

Hope this helps someone out there!
Kathy
++++
Kathy Carlton Willis
Living Out Loud Communications & Manuscript Editorial Services
WillisWay@aol.com

Gratitude List

I'm grateful for:

-Music. It changes my spirit within seconds-what power to uplift and energize! And I'm one of those gals who cranks up my radio in the car. I sing along too. You probably saw me looking really goofy at the stop light!

-A possible job. The PR firm who was considering me for a potential publicist position, was so pleased with my work that they want me to head up their new division-a speakers' bureau for novelists. If I take the job, I will work with fiction writers who also speak, and will possibly be helping coordinate blog tours for writers with a book launch. This is a different job than I originally applied for, but it is something I would LOVE. So now I'm praying about it, and will let them know before the end of the month. Will you pray with me? The note the president of the firm wrote me was a huge day brightener!

-A fuzzy robe. One size fits most fluffy shaped women. That means me whether I was a size 12 or a size 22. This one is special because it was my mother-in-love's until she passed away in 1997. Okay-so maybe it isn't as fuzzy of a robe as it used to be, but it still does the trick!

-A busy week this week. Something every night. That's okay. It means we have friends to visit and places to be where we have purpose. The nights at home are good too. We usually try to go for a balance, but this week we will just have to put it into overdrive and rest when we can grab a few minutes.

-An opportunity to vote. What a great country!

-Great news from a friend. His lung biopsy test came back negative. Woo Hoo!

So much more for which to be grateful. So little space. I'm sure it would fill up all the pages of all the computers in all the houses in the world if we were honest.

Shed Blood

I voted this week. There were no major issues, but I wanted to do my part for my country. I told my husband that there is no other greater duty outside of church to mankind than to vote. I compared it to giving blood. It felt good to wear the "I Voted Today" sticker all day long.

Today I saw on the news that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld stepped down. Politics aside, I hurt for our armed forces. This Saturday is Veteran's Day. Our veterans are willing to sacrifice the ultimate price for our country. All I did was vote. I compared it to donating blood to the Red Cross. But they shed their blood to protect our country and to keep the wars away from our soil. They leave all they know and love to do their civic duty. I will highly respect our military. I'm grateful for our veterans because they risked their lives for me and others, perfect strangers.

Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ paid the ultimate price. He suffered and died, an innocent man, for a crime he did not commit, to pay the price for a people who may or may not accept this gift of love. Veterans often feel unappreciated and misunderstood. I imagine our Lord has felt the same way. In fact, in Luke 17:11-19, it is documented that Jesus healed ten lepers. One (a Samaritan) glorified God, and fell down on his face at Jesus' feet and gave Him thanks. Jesus answered, "Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine? There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger. And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole."

Jesus understands what veterans feel like for others to take them for granted. This week of our Thanksgiving month, let's focus our gratitude on our veterans who volunteer their blood for our freedom. And, like the one Samaritan, let us also fall at the feet of our Savior and give God the glory with our gratitude and thanksgiving.

It Went Well!

Thanks to those of you who prayed for me as I made a guest appearance to the Dancing Word Writers Network chat room discussion last night. We had somewhere between 8-15 writers (I didn't count). The format was excellent. The moderator prayed and then they had a specific protocol for the chatters to ask questions or make comments. The moderator would then call on them by name when it was their turn. That way we didn't have 5 conversations going on at once.

Most of the writers wanted to know how to break into the business, so I hope I had helpful advice for them. The dancingword.net archives will feature the manuscript of the chat, once they have been transcribed. I'll let you know when that happens. And soon, I've had several ask for my ideas, so soon this blog will also feature some my basic recommendations for beginning writers, to help you launch into the world of writing.

Two of my friends from the Baptist Bible Fellowship International e-list came to the chat. One told me as soon as I entered the chat room that she was there. The other hid under another name and told me after. Shame on you Pat! Actually-I was sooo glad each of them was there. Nice to have support!

Come Support Me!

In the Dancing Word Writers Network newsletter, Annie McDonald issued the following invitation. I'd like to invite you to attend this chat to give me your support:

Are you wanting to take that next step in your writing career? Do you wish you had more inside information on how to get published? Join writing coach, Kathy Carlton Willis this Friday, November 3rd, beginning at 9 p.m. Eastern/6 p.m. Pacific in the Dancing Word Chat Room.

Participants are encourage to bring questions regarding:

-what a writer's coach can do for you
-copy editing (how to polish your piece-grammar, style, punctuation, usage)
-finding work as a freelancer
-how to find markets for your work
-how to be your own publicist
-the good, the bad, and the ugly about online critique groups
-how to write your own bio
-how to write a query letter
-how to write a book proposal

To join the chat, go to www.dancingword.net/chatroom.htm This will take you to a new window. Once it has loaded, follow the directions to enter the chat room. If this is your first time to the chat, it is recommend that you do a practice run a few hours prior to the chat.

Those who cannot use the java program will need to use the central chat mIRC program. Go to: http://www.centralchat.net/ccmircxpress/download.php and save the software to your desktop. Then get offline, disable your antivirus software and install mIRC. Reenable your antivirus software.

To enter the chat room, start the mIRC program and follow the directions, then type in /join #dancingword.

Be sure to test out the program several hours before the chat so if you have problems, you will have time to fix them.

If you have difficulties with the chat room, please contact me at dancingword@gmail.com.

Too Much!

TOO MUCH!

It's just too much! Too much pain, too much suffering, too much confusion. Between several of my friends, there is just too much bad stuff going on. How does God expect us to cope when times are so bad? One of my closest friends died of cancer this year at age 50 and now another one age 52 is being tested for a suspicious lung lesion. Another friend has had such a terrible time at work that she says she is rehearsing her "I quit" speech, just in case she is pushed to her breaking point. And yet another friend is so overwhelmed by all the demands in her life that she says she can't take one more thing.

Isn't it odd how we tell God when things get to be too much-as in too much negative, but we never tell Him when things are just "too good"? With our soured perspectives, do we ever even see things as God blessing us too much? Do we ever ask Him to take some blessings back because we just can't handle it? I doubt it!

One of the things I started doing a few years ago was a gratitude list. At least twice a week I type out some things for which I am grateful. Russ has been teasing me about how often I exclaim the beauty of the autumn colors. I told him today that I seriously doubt God gets tired of hearing us praise Him for the beauty of His creation. Never does He say "too much."

What are you thankful for today? Can you make a list?

I make it a point not to just be thankful for the big things. By being grateful for the small things, I can develop an "attitude of gratitude" no matter what the big bad wolf has brought my way. Today, my list for the week includes:

• medical treatments that make me feel so much better.
• a conversation with a friend who "gets it."
• the splurge of a hired housekeeping team once every other week.
• sunshine hitting the autumn colored trees.
• a doting husband who helps me with the little things.
• a request to help compile and edit a book for a missions project.
• Pepsi over crushed ice with a straw before NOON!

See how throwing a simple thing in your gratitude list makes you smile? This month, the month we celebrate thanksgiving, rehearse your gratitude to the Lord. Gratitude lists magnify the positive and diminish the negative in my life. May the same be true for you.

"Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms." ~Psalm 95:2

Dancing Word Interviews Me

Earlier in the year, I was invited to be interviewed during an online chat, by writers and those who want to be in the writing industry. They scheduled me for November. November is here, and now it is time to prepare for the chat-it will be this Friday-November 3rd at 9 p.m. EST. If you are curious-you can go to the site to see the ad for it, and you are welcome to attend the chat. It is easy and free.

dancingword.net

I am a writer's coach, and we will be discussing all things relevant to the writing industry. Examples of topics to be covered: query letters, book proposals, copy editing, finding writing opportunities, online writers' groups and critique groups, marketing, and public relations.

Please pray that I can help the ones who sign up for the chat. Also pray that there will be no technical difficulties.

ROOTED IN CONTENTMENT

Jazzy is chewing on a 15-inch root as we speak. Yes, a root. My almost one-year-old Boston Terrier thinks she is Yule Gibbons or something when it comes to eating nature snacks. I looked at the root, and my first thought was, "Oh, I long to be rooted!"

To those of you who have lived in the same place your entire life, perhaps you don't understand that desire. Let me explain. My first 18 years, I lived in the same home. From that time, until now, 25 years later (and please don't do the math!), I have lived in 20 dwelling places. TWENTY! That amounts to eight towns and six states. No wonder I yearn for roots!

I desire to never write another change of address card again! My friends who grew up moving with military don't understand that. They are happy with a move at least every 3-5 years. And perhaps gypsies never lose that wandering gene. But for the most part, God placed a longing for stability in the hearts of his children. When the Hebrews wandered in the desert for forty years, they moaned and complained. I imagine that is where the phrase "Are we there yet?" came to be! With the world changing around us, we want HOME to stay the same.

God places a longing for roots in our very being. Psalm 1:3 says, "And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper." May I be planted in the Bible, God's Holy Word, so that I can get all the nutrients I need from the good soil and water, to be fruitful in producing what God wants in my life.

But I also realize what Paul said in Philippians 4: 11, "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."

I'm very sure Paul wasn't speaking of states of the union, since America had not even been discovered yet, but it can apply to me being content no matter what state I live in. But more importantly it tells me that no matter what God allows to come into my life, even if it doesn't involve roots, I can learn to be content. My joy comes from God's grace, not from my circumstances.

If I'm honest, I'd much rather be rooted in Him, than in some street address. May I be rooted in contentment-the very best location to be.

Broken

BROKEN

I was watching a movie the other day, and a quote really stuck in my mind. The character said something like, "Sometimes things need to stay broken. It's not up to you to fix everything. Your job is to let it stay broken for now."

That struck a chord with me because I'm a chronic fixer. If I see something that's not right, I try to solve the problem and make things okay. If someone has a relationship problem, I become the mediator. If there are conflicts, I take on the role of peacemaker. If someone has a physical need, I am the self-appointed provider to meet that need.

All of that sounds good until I realize that I often jump ahead of God and just "fix" something without asking God if it is my job to repair it. That movie showed me that sometimes we learn more through the brokenness than we do when things are A-okay.

I heard myself saying the other day, "but I just don't want to see them suffer." And another Christian reminded me that the Bible speaks about suffering as if it is something with which the believer becomes greatly acquainted during his life journey. Suffering sometimes delivers a testimony of God's grace, and sometimes it is a schoolmaster of what is important to God. We learn better through suffering, about the heart of God, than we do when things are hunky-dory. And we communicate more with God when we are in a broken place in our lives. So, it's okay for some things to stay broken for a while. It's not my job to fix everything. Only God can mend the wounds of a broken heart.

The words of David Meece's song, "Brokenness" penetrates my soul. I pray his lyrics ministers to you as well.

"In my brokenness ~ In my hour of darkness
~ I will lift my hands ~ And worship You

~ In my brokenness ~ In my time of sadness
~ I will lift my voice ~ And praise to You

~ Time stands still ~ As I kneel down before You
~ Life draws near ~ Like waves upon the shore

~ You touch me ~ In my brokenness
~ In these whispering shadows ~ I will lift the pieces ~
Of my heart to You."

Make Your Requests Known

When our meal planner gave us the list of who was bringing meals, we noticed the name of a Brazilian woman-Carla. Russ and I talked about it, and wondered if it would be rude to hint that we would LOVE a Brazilian meal.

So, Russ handled it very delicately. He went up to her and said, "Hey, Carla, a little birdy tells me you might be bringing a meal over this week. Is that right?"

She smiled and said in her broken English, "I make lassagna for you!"

He sort of got a pouty lip and said, "Oh Carla, no Brazillian food for us?"

Her eyes lit up, her posture straighted with excitement, and she said "You wish I make recipe from Brazil?"

Russ said, "Yes! Yes! Please. Anyone can make lassagna, but only you can make an authentic Brazilian dish in our church."

So, Wednesday, Carla brought over Feijoada. This is a black bean dish that has ham, bacon, and sausage in it. Very tasty. She brought over yucca flour called manioc flour or farofa and instructed me to sprinkle some over the Feijoada to thicken it. She also brought white rice and collard greens, which is how the meal is traditionally served.

It was delicious. We're so glad we decided to speak up and make our request known. Otherwise it would have just been one more Italian dish. Instead we were transported to Brazil—if only through our tastebuds.

Fall or Winter?

Earlier this week, I took photos of the trees in our woods. They were just starting to turn colors. I planned to take photos every few days to show the progression of color.

There's only one problem.

Last evening, the rains and wind came, darting towards our home at some unnatural angle. I looked outside and exclaimed,"It's raining LEAVES!" No fooling, the leaves just blew off the trees.

Today, I woke up to freezing cold temperatures. At 9:00 a.m. it was only 34 degrees outside. I called Russ and asked him if I could turn on the heat because our thermostat said it was only 64 degrees inside! He laughed to think I would call to get "permission" but of course I was mainly asking because I wasn't sure if our system had been winterized yet. Imagine my good fortune when he said I could turn on the heat!

I looked outside, and one of my trees is almost "naked." The other trees have a few more leaves, but I can kiss goodbye any dreams of photographing the progressive colorization process. It's not Fall today, it's Winter!

Oscar or Felix?

Do you remember The Odd Couple? Oscar Madison and Felix Ungar shared an apartment. Oscar was messy, unorganized, and laid back. Felix was neat, regimented, and probably would be diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in 2006. It's amazing these two got along so well. Have you ever wondered how they could be such good friends when they were so different from each other? Perhaps it is because deep down, if you removed all their differences, they both had the same good heart.

I have certain characteristic traits similar to Oscar and Felix. I'm normally organized and professional when it comes to work and church projects and love to dress sharp. But I'm sloppy at home, even when I have the best intentions. Are you more of a Felix or an Oscar? How does your temperament help or hinder your relationships?

When it comes to reading the Bible, are you more like Oscar or Felix? When Oscars look for wisdom in the Bible, they use the magic verse technique. Perhaps you are familiar with this. Oscars flip open the Bible to any page, close their eyes and point to a verse. This is their verse for the day and they claim it for any circumstance that comes their way. Oscar types are tempted to procrastinate reading the Bible.

Felixes have a systematic, organized technique for reading their Bibles. Perhaps they read through the Bible in a year, or use a special Bible Study book, or some other routine reading schedule. Felix types are more disciplined, and read the Bible before there is a felt-need for biblical direction or advice.

Obviously there are no wrong techniques for Bible reading. God's just glad you want to hear His voice via the Word. When you open the Bible you are inviting God to speak to you. You learn His heart, and grow more like Him. The more a child spends time with his father, the more he becomes LIKE his father. That happens to us when we spend time with our Heavenly Father in His Word.

Are you an Oscar or a Felix? No matter what your personality type, the Bible can become a part of your life.

Wishing On Dandelions

Enjoy this author interview.

Book: Wishing on Dandelions

Author: Mary E. DeMuth

• This book deals with difficult subject matter: childhood sexual abuse and its residual affects. How did this book emerge?

My passion is to write about redemption through the avenue of story. I started the first book, Watching the Tree Limbs, in a flurry. In my mind I saw the streets of Burl and a girl who didn’t know where she came from. Because my personal story involves different instances of sexual abuse, I wanted to write a story that showed the reader how God could intersect an abuse-victim’s life and make a difference.

• So, are you Maranatha?

In some ways yes, some no. Like Maranatha, I felt like God had transformed my life in such a radical way (like her name change from Mara—bitter—to Maranatha—Come Lord Jesus). Like Maranatha, I endured sexual abuse, but I was much younger when it happened. Like Maranatha, I wondered if I had been marked, that every sexual predator could “tell” I was a ready victim. I wrestled through relationships in my teens with Maranatha’s twin feelings of revulsion and attraction. But, she is not me in many other ways. She is more independent. She has no parents. She lives in an entirely different culture. She is less ambitious. She has the privilege of many wiser people to mentor her through life.

• What made you decide to write a love story?

The book didn’t start out in my mind as a love story, but it evolved into it as I continued writing. Characters have that uncanny way of taking your prose and running in all sorts of directions with it. Charlie just kept being faithful. In a sense, I fell in love with him!

• What made you choose East Texas as the setting for both novels?

The South fascinates me. I grew up in the Northwest. When my last child was born, my husband was transferred to East Texas to start a department in a hospital. Because I was a stay-at-home mom and home schooling, I didn’t have much else to do there except to observe small town southern culture. Because I didn’t grow up in that culture, my senses were heightened and I eventually began to really appreciate the differences.

• Childhood sexual abuse is not talked about very often, and seldom covered in novels. What made you decide to write about it?

For that very reason. The more victims are quiet, the less healing they will receive. The more we talk about it, bringing heinous acts to the light, the better able we are to know we are not alone. I wrote this book so other abuse victims would feel validated and heard. And to offer hope.

• Why do you end your books with hope?

Because hope is essential to Jesus’ Gospel. Even when things are bleak, there is always hope—if not in this life, then in the next. I’m not interested, however, in presenting hope in a superfluous way. I don’t want to tie up every story thread neatly. The truth is, life is tragic and difficult and bewildering, but God intersects that life and brings hope.

• Have you always wanted to write?

Yes. Since my second grade teacher told my mother that she thought I was a creative writer, I’ve wanted to write. I kept a diary since the sixth grade. Though I was an English major, I didn’t start writing seriously until my first daughter was born. I wrote for ten years in obscurity before my writing career took a turn for the better.

• Who are your literary heroes?

I love Harper Lee. I only wish she’d written more. Leif Enger, who wrote Peace Like a River, greatly inspired me to write visually and artistically. I love Sue Monk Kidd’s Secret Life of Bees, how you could almost taste her characters. I’m fascinated and intimidated by J.R.R. Tolkein—how he managed to create an entire world with several languages is way beyond my literary prowess.

• What do you want your reader to take away from Wishing on Dandelions?

That redemption of a broken life takes time. We’re all on a journey of healing. Sometimes it’s slow going, but if we can endure through the dark times, God will bring us to new places of growth. I want the images and characters to stay with a reader for a long time.

Autumn Reminiscence

Shades of yellow, gold and orange splashed across the hillsides. Air crisp as a saltine crackers filled the lungs of life-breathers; deeply inhaling the scents of Fall. Trail walkers crunched across the rice krispy paths carpeted with fallen leaves and twigs. Fathers and sons stuffed duffle bags with indulgent snacks and camping gear for their annual deer hunt. Cinnamon smells wafted from the kitchen — laced in apple cobblers and nut breads. Harvesters emptied fields of Earth's bounty, leaving behind the barren fertile soil filled with hopes and dreams of next year's crop. Cider mills produced liquid gold, chilled to perfection. Spotless apples saved for caramel or candied treats. Leaf forts raked to the curb and ignited into smoldering mounds; smoke signals sending Morse code messages. "Hello. Good-bye. Fall has come. Fall has gone. Day is done."

As you have probably guessed, I have fond memories of autumn. I've lived in areas of the country where Fall was absent from the seasonal calendar. The Gulf of Mexico has its own subtropical beauty. The desert of New Mexico had its wide-open grandeur. But neither has Fall. Their loss. It's not just the scenes of autumn, but the smells and moods of autumn that speak to hearts.

No matter where you live, allow this time of year to remind you of how blessed we are with God's creation. He gifted us with this beautiful world to enjoy. It sustains us physically, and gives us what we need emotionally, mentally and spiritually as well. Pick up a leaf, and you will notice some points on each side, and a point at the top of the leaf. This tells me I need to look to each other and to my surroundings for fellowship, but most of all I am pointed to my Heavenly Father (at the top).

Take time to breath in God's bounty before Winter comes.

Expiration Date

"Is it okay to use cheese that has mold on it? Can't I just cut off the mold and use the good part?"

This was a recent question on the new Rachel Ray television show. It got my attention because I'm guilty of letting food park in my refrigerated "garage" too long. I hate to let things go to waste, but I won't use food that might make me sick. So how do you know?

Rachel Ray answered the cheese question by saying the moldy cheese will never taste as good again, even if the mold is removed, UNLESS it was a moldy cheese to begin with, such as gorgonzola. She went on to the next offensive items in the refrigerator, those past their expiration date. We've heard it time and time again that the expiration date is there for a reason, but what if the date is a "sell by" date instead? Then how do you know if the item is still okay? Usually it is the milk that has a sell by date, and there is an easy way to tell if it has gone bad, if you are willing to recruit your nose for the job!

One tip I learned early in my marriage was how to know if eggs are still fresh (and these CAN be used past the expiration date). Put the suspicious egg in a bowl of salted cold water. If it floats, throw it out. If it sinks, it is fresh. If it swims somewhere in the middle of the water-neither floating or sinking-it is safe to use for baking or for deviled eggs, but not fresh enough for an eggs and bacon breakfast.

All this talk about expiration dates got me to thinking about our time to leave this Earth. Some believe when it is your time to go, it will happen no matter what you do to alter the date and time. I know a few cases documented in the Bible of people who actually were able to bargain with God for a later expiration date.

One thing we should focus on more than the expiration date is the "use by" date. Yep-I fooled you. That is the same as the expiration date. You know what that tells me? All creation is meant to be USEFUL to the very end. But keep in mind that usefulness to God might be different from the "usefulness" our guilt-trips try to persuade us to do. While service is good, what God really finds useful is when we are fellowshipping with Him. This is what He created us for.

In the great egg test of life, I hope God finds that I sink rather than float. And if you knew my swimming ability, you would realize just how possible that might be!

Feeling expired? Trade it in for feeling INSPIRED.

Gratitude List

I think I've missed posting my gratitude list the past two weeks-so I better get with it! If I can't be thankful, I can't really be living, right?

I'm grateful for:

1. Breakfast cereals eaten dry as snacks. Yum!

2. Jars of homemade vegetable soup delivered in a gift bag yesterday along with two very nice lotions. Pampering for my skin and my belly-how nice is that? Thanks to Les and Juanita for that.

3. A phone call from my Aunt Verna. I'm grateful that this past year has helped me reconnect with my three paternal aunts-a true blessing to me. I think when my cousin died it was a wake-up call for all of us. I've received cards from all 3 aunts in the past month-how thoughtful!

4. Phone calls from friends-one is even willing to come over and shave my legs since I can't bend-now THAT'S a friend!

5. Donatos pizza-how convenient to call for delivery. I love 1/2 pepperoni and 1/2 Hawaiian on thin crust.

Pizza is good for when your cupboards are getting empty. I haven't been to the grocery story for over two weeks-I'm overdue. Russ almost ate yogurt yesterday that had expired! I did have an outing on Friday-to go eat a grilled cheese sandwich at Frishe's Big Boy (had a gift card). We were going to go to Kroger after we ate, just to pick up 5 items, but we had forgotten my remote control programmer for my spinal cord stimulator. I'm not supposed to go through the security gates at stores without turning off the stimulator, so that means we aborted the grocery trip and Russ did it on his way home. But...I'm really due to get out of the house again-cabin fever is setting in!

I go tomorrow for my first post-op visit, and also for a visit with Medtronics to reprogram my device.

I'm definitely on the mend!

We Have A Winner!

Congrats to J. Arnold of PA for winning the book drawing for _Coldwater Revival_. I just finished the review copy and I'm glad to pass it on to one of my readers. I'll be posting a new contest soon-so check back often to enter.

Jazzy Psyched Us Out!

Jazzy, our 10 month old Boston Terrier, thinks all the company we have been having are here to see her. It's all about JAZZY, don't you know?! So, if someone comes with a meal in their arms, we try to put Jazzy out, and she can watch us visit from the French Doors on the deck. She gives a side show for our friends by jumping sky high, like she is on an invisible pogo stick. She can jump higher than our deadbolt.

Well, yesterday Betty and Bev came by with some KFC, and they felt sorry for Jazzy. They insisted it was okay to let her in. Jazzy smothered them in sloppy wet kisses and let them know she was in love at first sight. We didn't want Jazzy to overwhelm them, so Russ scooped up Jazzy and held her while we chatted. Bev found one of Jazzy's balls and decided to throw it for Jazzy to chase. Jazzy acted like she was all excited to chase the ball, but as soon as Russ let her down, she headed for our guests-to give them round two of kisses. We tried this three different times, and each time, Jazzy acted like she would chase the ball, but would instead go give kisses. It was hilarious.

It hurts to laugh, but it hurts NOT to laugh, if you know what I mean!

Now I Lay Me Down

NOW I LAY ME DOWN

Psalm 4: 8, "I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep; for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety."

As a child, I was forced to slow down long enough to take a nap. Back then "nap" was the opposite of fun. I hated missing anything life might be throwing my way. I didn't realize why I needed naps and felt they were a waste of time. When I was quite young, though, I enjoyed the prequel to the nap, on my mother's lap. I recall the gentle back and forth rocking motion as we sat atop our antique rocking chair, while she sang "She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain." The rhythm of the chair in motion, the soothing notes sung, and the loving caress all made me feel loved and safe.

I'm on my way to take a nap as I write this article. Now that I am grown I believe the afternoon nap is the best free indulgence available. It doesn't discriminate. It is open to poor and rich, young and old. Naps restore my energy and renew my mental focus. My body wakes to less pain and more vigor.

But even if I didn't receive any benefits from napping, the process of taking a nap would be enough reason for me to set aside time for this luxury. I'm able to turn off the distracting burdens and to-do lists that pile up in my mind and heart.

When I walk toward the bedroom and say, "Jazzy, let's take a nappy" she prances eagerly by my side and jumps up to nuzzle next to me in bed. She is an excellent nap companion. Everyone needs a pet who is a nap fan!

Soon my breathing slows down, and the world fades away. Slumber. Sweet slumber. What a gift from God. He promises to give me rest, and I gladly receive that gift.

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray I slumber long and deep.

May all my cares be whisked away
And peaceful joy be here to stay.

Expect The Unexpected

You know how there is a book called, "What To Expect When You Are Expecting"? There needs to be a book called "What To Expect When You have Spinal Cord Stimulator Surgery." Amazing the things they just FORGOT to tell us.

I guess if we should have learned anything by now in life, it would be to expect the unexpected. And so it is with this surgery. I didn't expect so much pain, or bruising. I did expect to be bedridden longer and I'm not (get too stiff if I lay very long). I expected smaller incisions-surprise! I didn't expect to sleep well, but I have been sleeping great (probably thanks to the Percocet). I didn't realize just how dependent I would be on someone for the basic things like dressing or scratching the top of my head. I didn't expect the restrictions to, well, RESTRICT me so much. Cramps my style! For example, I wanted to make potato soup for lunch. Russ had to fetch the potato for me, and the pan. And I had to add water to the pan a little at a time while it sat on the burner, rather than holding it under the faucet, due to the weight. Everything I take for granted must be reevaluated these 8 weeks of recovery. I'll learn to appreciate my independence more when I get it back. One sign that I will have "arrived" is when I'm allowed to drive-in 6-8 weeks time.

Good news: fever is reduced and the redness connecting the two incisions is from bruising rather than infection. How did I know? It started turning orange/yellow.

Speaking of colors-I truly believe I've got my own rainbow or coat-of-many-colors going on with this bruise. How can one bruise embrace my belly and wrap underneath my arm and land somewhere on my back? ONE bruise! Perhaps my skin and soft tissue is revolting from the surgical attack, or maybe the fat cells are wondering why they weren't siphoned off and deemed medically unnecessary.

And my hair...boy is it a sight! Right now, I really don't care. Before surgery, I thought I would care what I looked like (making sure I had enough clothes that would work, and people to do my hair). But now, if I get a shower every other day and clean clothes on, I really don't care if I'm ready for the red carpet. But my hair...it really IS awful. How in the world can I develop bed-head from hair that was combed straight down like a Peter Pan cut, when I don't toss and turn in bed? However Russ positions me for my sleep position is how I wake up in the morning. Stiff as a board. Sometime in the night, the hair fairies came out to play in my tresses to distress them beyond repair. How important is a hairstyle in the full scheme of things anyway?

Yes, the surgeon left my sense-of-humor gene intact. Laughter really is a merry medicine to the deepest of the deepest hurts-even to the bones.

Thanks for praying-please keep it up!

Home

RE: My spinal cord stimulator surgery

Just a quick note to let you know I'm home. I had a rough night-slept for about 20 minute intervals in the hospital. The hospital staff was awesome,though. I had to deal with nausea this morning after breakfast, so took a couple of phenergans so that I wouldn't get sick on the way home (about a 35 minute drive).

I am in a great deal of pain. Especially when I have to change positions. I'm using all of my positioning techniques (legs not back, log rolls,etc.) I have bruising around the two incisions (each incision is about 5 inches). But I have a LOT of bruising connecting the two incisions (where the tubing is the "conduit" for the wires connecting the pacemaker type device to the electrodes in my back). That bruise is probably 3" by 5"at its biggest. They said the bruising will increase over the next couple of days. I'm pretty swollen too.

The device is working so/so. The guy who programmed it for my surgery was different than the nurse who programmed it for the trial, and so it is set up different than with what we are familiar. So, we will experiment with the settings, and then will also get it tweaked when I go back for my post-op in 2 weeks.

I've been sleeping a lot since I got home, but that's not a bad thing.

Thanks for praying!

Don't Drink The Water!

We saw this photo on a CD at the bookstore. Loved it! (Remember-we own a 10 month old Boston Terrier)

Too cute!

Someone sent me this photo, and I thought it was too cute not to share!

Author Interview: Nancy Jo Jenkins

I'm reading a great book right now, and I can't wait to tell you about it. Since I'm not finished with it yet, I can't write a full review at this time, so I thought I'd share an author interview with you. If you are interested in reading this book, e-mail me or leave a comment, and I will have a drawing of the names. I will send the winner the book when I'm finished with it.

About the Book: Just three weeks before her wedding, Emma Grace Falin has returned to her hometown of Coldwater, Texas, consumed by a single, burning desire. She must confront the guilt and shame of a devastating event that has haunted her since childhood.

"...What a stunning debut novel."

--Wendy Lawton, Literary Agent, author of Impressions in Clay

"An astonishing debut! Coldwater Revival is a hauntingly beautiful story made doubly so by Nancy Jo Jenkins stunning, lyrical writing. I was mesmerized from cover to cover."

--Deborah Raney, author of A Nest of Sparrows and A Vow to Cherish


Nancy Jo Jenkins Press Pic

THE INTERVIEW

Q. How long did it take you to write Coldwater Revival?

A. I perceived the idea for Coldwater Revival in June, 2003, and completed the manuscript in March, 2005.

Q. Tell us about your journey from writer to published novelist.

A. During my teaching career, I dreamed of the day when I could write the stories that continually swam around in my head. I didn't know at the time that it would take me four or five years of attending workshops, conferences, retreats, lectures, and of studying tapes, books and other materials before I was ready to put my newly-acquired knowledge to use, and begin writing the stories that God had prompted me to write. In March, 2004, at the Mount Hermon Christian Writing Conference, I submitted a book proposal to Steve Laube (Literary agent), and Jeff Dunn, (Acquisitions Editor) for RiverOak. Both gentlemen asked me to send them all I had written on Coldwater Revival, which at the time was 109 pages. During the summer of 2004, both men offered me a contract. My book was published by RiverOak and released in May, 2006.

Q. The agony and healing Emma Grace went through are so real. What personal
experiences did you draw from to portray Emma Grace's feelings so well?

A. There was a time in my life when I suffered with depression, though it was not due to a death in the family, as Emma Grace's was. At the time, it seemed that I was in a daily knock-down, drag-out fistfight with sadness. I was truly blessed in that I was never prescribed any kind of medication to treat my depression, which proved to be relatively short-lived. But I did receive counseling, which was just what I needed to win the battle with this debilitating condition. During that time of depression I endured many of the symptoms that Emma Grace suffered through. Excessive sleeping was about the only symptom we did not share. There were times when I couldn't swallow my food, and times when I could almost touch the face of that same blackness that almost overwhelmed Emma Grace. Her sorrow and guilt were difficult scenes for me to write, and I found myself crying each time I wrote about Emma Grace's sadness and the continual ache in her heart.

Q. Emma Grace loses all desire for life when her brother dies - not eating or talking, just living in the blissful cocoon of sleep. Do you have any advice for folks who are in that dark place right now?

A. Communication was the key that unlocked the door of depression for me. Communicate with God, even if the only words you can utter are the words, "Help me." But I also benefited greatly from talking to a certified counselor; one who was trained in helping people express their pain, their needs, their fears. I hope that anyone who feels sad and lonely for an extended length of time, will contact their pastor, or someone who can direct them to a Christian counselor.

Q. Emma Grace's grandmother lives in the city while the rest of the family lives in the country. Why do you think she didn't move out to the country with the rest of the family long ago?

A. Granny Falin immigrated from Ireland to America with her husband and son when Emma Grace's papa was just a lad. This family shared a dream about their new country. It would be a place where they could find work and prosperity, raise their family, and put down roots. Even the Great Hurricane of 1900 couldn't wash those dreams from Granny's heart. Though her only remaining child lived a hundred miles away in the rural township of Coldwater, Texas, Granny could never leave Galveston. The island and the sea that surrounded the island were her home now. It was where the ashes of her husband and three children were buried. It was the home she and her husband had dreamed of during their desperate years together in Ireland. If she left Galveston and moved to Roan's home, she would be giving up the dream she had shared with her husband.

Q. Papa and Elo have a tough time showing their emotions. Elo, especially, is so hard to read in the book. Why do you think some people hole up inside themselves rather than sharing their emotions?

A. I believe we are born with a portion of our personality already deeply embedded within us. Some people are reticent to express their feelings and emotions, while others have no problem whatsoever in expressing what they feel or think. I have known many individuals who are like Elo; people we sometimes refer to as "the strong, silent type". Papa and Elo are powerful protectors and providers who waste little time and effort on words. Both of these men feel that "actions speak louder than words". Added to that is the fact that Elo feels extreme discomfort when his mother and sisters are emotionally distraught, therefore, he maintains a rigid demeanor, in part, to provide a stable link in the chain that makes up his family - The Falins.

Q. Do you have other books coming out soon?

A. Thank you for asking about my upcoming books. I'm about to submit my proposal for a novel entitileld, "Whisper Mountain". This story takes place in the early 1900's in the Great Smoky Mountains. It is the story about lost love, and a desperate woman's journey to fill the void that deprivation and loss have left in her heart. The story has elements of mystery, intrigue, murder, and of course, romance. I'm very excited about this story. I've also begun writing a sequel to "Coldwater Revival" which will parallel both Emma Grace's life after 1933, and the adventurous trek Elo begins when he falls in love.

If They Were Psychic-Humor Contest

One of the humor writing contests suggested writers make a list of "if this thing/person was psychic, what this result would be." I enjoyed a five minute exercise of letting my creative juices flow. Some are funny, some aren't, but that's how you find the ONE that works (you go through all the clunkers to get to the treasures!). Why not have fun with this little exercise yourself?

If doctors were psychic....they'd lose their house in Miami from running less tests.

If dogs were psychic...oh wait—they are!

If teachers were psychic...they'd know when the dog really ate the homework.

If priests were psychic...there'd be no need for confession.

If pastors were psychic...they'd see through that compliment of "good sermon, Pastor."

If police were psychic...they'd only do a body cavity search if it was absolutely necessary.

If turtles were psychic...they'd know better than to cross the road.

If joke hearers were psychic...they'd know why the chicken crossed the road.

Photo Shop Me!

Recently, the news reported that Katie Couric and Rosie O'Donnell had "retouched" photos in PR shots. Someone behind the scenes thought it would be kind to put Katie and Rosie on instant diets by reducing inches before our very eyes. Okay-not inches, but it would have been if the photos were lifesize!


How convenient to just erase any unwanted flaws. Not only do you look good in the photo, but it provides an easy disguise when you meet people on the streets. They will never recognize you without your stage makeup and your retouched figure and face. I'm not sure what they do about live shots on television though. No time to retouch anything. I guess they just use special filters on the cameras, and hope people think the camera adds 10 pounds.

I haven't followed the photo shop route when it comes to retouching my photos. I hear it can be quite fun. But I must admit that the photo on this site is a photo from 2002 when I was about 60 pounds thinner. UGH.

No worries-I'll just go on the photo shop diet.

No pain, no gain. To my disdain, it's because I'm vain.

So Much Sadness

There is so much sadness in the news. The accident of Flight 5191 in Lexington, KY killed 49 victims and left one survivor struggling for his life. One couple that died in the crash was just married the evening before in a fairy tale wedding celebration. Another man in the crash had a heart of gold for Habitat for Humanity. Every life extinguished in that broken and burning plane was special to someone.

The news also has been documenting the yearlong struggle for the Gulf of Mexico region to recover from Hurricane Katrina. Bible Baptist Church in Gulfport recently celebrated their new building, but many homes and businesses remain in ruins. One young man rescued from the Louisiana nightmare was deposited by bus in Houston, later to be shot and killed on the street.

For the past two weeks, the greater Cincinnati area (my "backyard") has been looking for Marcus Fiesel, a three year old special needs child. The foster mother claimed something happened to him while she had a fainting episode at a local park due to a heart condition. When she came to, the three other children were present, but Marcus was missing. Churches and communities as far as 60 miles away showed an outpouring of concern as they prayed and helped in the search.

Authorities soon realized that little Marcus had never been in the park. Now the truth is out: the foster parents had routinely restrained Marcus and left him at home. Days before the park incident, Marcus had his arms pinned behind his back and was wrapped in a blanket and packing tape like a mummy. With only his head exposed, he cried out in fear, so the couple placed him in a closet with a fan turned on to block the screams.


Marcus was abandoned for 36 hours, and found dead when they returned home. To cover up the death, the foster dad burned the body several times in an abandoned chimney out in the country, and then allegedly dumped the remains in the Ohio River.

During times like these, we need a Savior. Not just a one-time Savior who saves us from our sinful nature to be claimed for an eternity with Him, but also a day-by-day Savior who indwells believers and comforts us with a peace that passes all human understanding.

What have you done with your sadness lately? Have you found yourself floundering under the dark clouds or reaching out to each other and to our Heavenly Father?

...In Times Like These, We Need A Savior...

BOOK REVIEW: Violet Dawn

by: Kathy Carlton Willis

Title: Violet Dawn (Kanner Lake Series)

Author: Brandilyn Collins

Publisher: Zondervan

ISBN: 0-310-25223-7

Genre: Inspirational/Mystery/Suspense

Paige Williams runs from her twenty-five year past by transplanting herself to the resort town of Kanner Lake, Idaho. She works as a sales clerk and lives a quiet life on the outskirts of town.

The book opens with Paige soothing her insomnia in a hot tub. She dips under the water, seeking the solace of solitude only to be greeted by the touch of human flesh. Did I mention there was a dead body in the hot tub? Paige determines her past would be revealed if she calls the police, so she decides to hide the body and move forward with her life of secrecy.

This sleepy town is all atwitter with the excitement of new gossip-local celebrity, Edna San, antiquated movie legend, is missing from her estate. The downtown coffee shop (Java Joint) owned by Christian Bailey Truitt is buzzing with the news.

Author Brandilyn Collins sets the stage with these opening scenes for a full-fledged suspense thriller. She switches point of view with each short chapter. Action and emotions drive the story as we see Paige come face to face with her past-evil so lethal one could easily suspect the author is writing about the devil himself.

Readers who devour this tasty psychological thriller will want to read the author's previous works: Brink of Death, Stain of Guilt, Dead of Night, Web of Lies, Eyes of Elisha, and others. Be on the lookout for future novels in the Kanner Lake Series.

Neurosurgeon Says...

Today I went for my first visit with the neurosurgeon who will do my spinal cord stimulator surgery (my Physical Medicine and Rehab doc did the trial run of the SCS). We arrived at the office at 9:00 a.m. for a 9:30 a.m. appointment, and the doctor came in my exam room around 11:20 a.m. He was delayed due to emergency surgery. Once he entered the room, the frustrations from waiting disappeared. First he took my history and of note were:

#1-He believes I had cauda equina syndrome along with the herniated disc I had back in 1993 that started all this, based on my description of the symptoms as well as the timetable for surgery and recovery.

Definition of cauda equina syndrome:
Cauda equina syndrome (CES) occurs when the nerve roots of the cauda equina are compressed and disrupt motor and sensory function to the lower extremities and bladder. Patients with this syndrome are often admitted to the hospital as a medical emergency. CES can lead to incontinence and even permanent paralysis.

The collection of nerves at the end of the spinal cord is known as the cauda equina, due to its resemblance to a horse's tail. The spinal cord ends at the upper portion of the lumbar (lower back) spine. The individual nerve roots at the end of the spinal cord that provide motor and sensory function to the legs and the bladder continue along in the spinal canal. The cauda equina is the continuation of these nerve roots in the lumbar region. These nerves send and receive messages to and from the lower limbs and pelvic organs.

#2-He is concerned with my history of frequent infections and especially my recent abscess. Of special note are the recurrent proteus bacterial infections. He plans to give me stronger IV antibiotics and oral antibiotics because of this. He said the risk of infection is the biggest risk we will face with this SCS surgery.

#3-He said the glucose intolerance also makes me at a higher risk for infection.

#4-He plans to keep me overnight since I'm at a higher risk for complications. This will allow him to keep me on IV antibiotics longer. Also they can monitor my lungs because he said I might not breath as deeply due to the pain and this could cause my lungs to have a problem. Also, since I have restrictive lung disease, even though it is doing well now, he said the trauma of the surgery might cause it to flare. This is a relief because many SCS patients have the surgery as an OUTPATIENT!

And here is the good news:
He will be using glue to close my incisions rather than sutures, so I will get to take showers after two days rather than two weeks. How cool is that?! Not only will I feel clean, but the warm showers will feel good if I'm stiff and sore from the surgery. Also, I'm hoping this means I won't need to wear dressings as long as I would have had to do with stitches (if at all). If I can avoid tape, my skin will thank me.

I will have about a 2-3 inch incision around my bra-strap line-at the T-11 location-where they will do a laminotomy to get into the epidural area, and then they will install the electrical lead wire. Since they are doing a laminotomy, this will be much like back surgery. During a discectomy, they also do a laminotomy to gain access to the area.

A laminotomy means they remove a piece of the lamina (the bony part of the spine). Here is a graphic of a laminotomy used during a lumbar discectomy. My incision will be similar to this, only higher on the back, and the laminotomy will look like this-then they will proceed with the implantation of the spinal cord stimulator.



They will make a 3-4 inch incision in my right abdomen, below my waistband, where they will install the device that contains the battery. There will be a special tubing between the lead wire and the pocket for the battery, going from the front side to the middle of the back.

One last bit of news: the surgery has been rescheduled for September 12th. I was going to have it on September 14th but the doctor has a craniotomy scheduled for all day that day. Nice to know my doctor does such technical surgeries. He does quite a bit of these SCS surgeries. The worst part is that the surgery isn't until 3:00 p.m., or later if he gets delayed like today.

He is also ordering an AFO (ankle foot orthotic) for my left leg, to help with my foot drop (my foot sometimes drags and then I stumble). He said I can't afford to be jarred or to fall once I have the SCC in place. Any sudden movement could damage the equipment or dislocate the lead wire. I don't have to wear the AFO all the time, but he recommends it any time I will be up on my feet for long, or when I notice more muscle fatigue. He also recommended good support shoes, or even high top athletic shoes.

Photo of AFO:


Tha-tha-tha-that's all folks!

Zoo Photos

We went to the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Gardens for our 25th Wedding Anniversary on August 21st. Here are some photos:



This is a vampire bat. Russ and I were intrigued by these bats in the nocturnal house because there were tubs of red liquid in the cage with the bats. We read the sign, and sure enough, it was real blood, the only food vampire bats consume. Amazing!









This is Muke, the Zoo’s 24-year-old western lowland gorilla and her newborn baby boy. The four-pound male baby gorilla was born on Sunday, August 13. We got to see him on one of his first days out. I've heard mama never lets go of him. It was very sweet to see!









The polar bear exhibit was one of my favorite. You could watch the bear above ground or go underneath the surface to see him play beneath the water's surface. His antics were fun to watch!

25th Anniversary Date

For Russ's birthday, I poured an entire bowl of steaming hot miso soup all over my front at a hip new Japanese restaurant. Since it came before the meal, I had to sit there the remainder of the meal with red skin under soaked clothing. Not to be outdone, I managed to provide an even more outlandish stunt for our 25th wedding anniversary this week.

For our evening meal we decided to have a once in a lifetime dining experience at a fancy-smancy restaurant boat on the Ohio River owned by Jeff Ruby. We dressed up a little bit for the occasion. I confess I had to have Russ help zip up my pants, not because they were tight, but because the top clasp was broken and I had to hold the waistband together while he yanked the zipper up. It was a nice pantsuit, so I really wanted to wear it for our special night out.

Valet parked our mini van, making Russ regret that we didn't bring our Monte Carlo SS. We nearly pranced into the restaurant, soaking up all the ambiance and indulgent wait-staff. Our table was situated on the window side of the restaurant, with a view of the river and the beautiful Cincinnati skyline. We splurged and ordered surf and turf (a petite lobster tail and specialty steak, aged to perfection). Four waiters/servers were assigned to our table, to assist our every need.

Before the main course, my diuretic kicked in, and I was escorted to the powder room. All was well until I tried to zip up. The zipper was stuck. I tried every trick, but the zipper would not budge. I thought I needed a different angle, so I took off the slacks and tried again. Nothing. I tried tucking the waistband into the top of my white granny underwear, but it didn't work. I racked my brain and could not think of any Macgyver type trick to fix the dilemma. I considered my options. Stay in the bathroom the rest of the night until Russ retrieved me, or go back to my seat, hoisting up my pants with my "discreet" hands, and make the best of the situation. I decided to face the world bravely, and out the door I went. I held my head high, hoping not to draw attention to my awkward walk. I looked like the man on Boston Legal who has Asperger's Syndrome.

Russ knew right away what had happened. I tried to assure him that it would not keep me from having a good time. I enjoyed the company, the view, the service, and the food. It was a fabulous experience, and having a sense of humor helped me make the best of a terrible situation.

I had to make yet another trip to the powder room thanks to that tardy-acting diuretic. This time, I tried to remove a safety pin Russ had put on the back of my bra to gather my straps together in the middle, but it was nearly impossible to squirm out of the garment unassisted. I used brut force and the explosion of energy broke off the head of the safety pin, releasing just the pin part for me to use to fix my pants. I poked the pin through the material on each side of the zipper and bent the metal until I made a makeshift closure. The pointy end went directly into my skin. So, not to be jabbed any worse, once again I walked like a duck back to the table.

It could have been one of Alexander's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. But I decided to focus on the positive and make the most of my evening. This is one of those times that the Joy of Jesus supersedes the negative events we go through in life. In the full scheme of things, it wasn't going to matter if my pants fell down, but it did matter that I showed my dear husband the appreciation of twenty-five good years.

We walked out arm in arm, and maybe, just maybe we took my secret with us and no one else was the wiser!

Vacation Day

Yesterday Russ and I had a vacation day to celebrate our 25th Wedding Anniversary together. There is so much to report that it will take a day or two to write it all down. Needless to say, it was not just a fabulous day, but because I'm an imperfect example of a wife, it was a hilarious day. Leave it to me to find a way to botch up our special night out. But it will make for a night I will never forget, for sure! I'll whet your whistle by telling you it trumped the time I poured piping hot miso soup all over my front on Russ's birthday this February. I wasn't expecting an encore performance of "duncehood" but I delivered!

So, come back in a day or two to see what I've done to journal our special day. It will have lots of photos so I can also use this entry as a virtual scrapbook.

Thanks for checking in!

REAL WORSHIP

My 9 month old Boston Terrier, Jazzy, worships me. Maybe worship is too strong of a word, but I don't think so. She follows me from room to room just to be by my side. She'll rest at my feet or beg to lie in my lap. When I take a nap, she jumps up in bed and pressed the small of her back against the small of my back. She covers me with her kisses and looks up at me with an expression of adoration on her face. She trusts me to provide for all of her needs and many of her wishes. When I come in the door, she can't wait to greet me. Jazzy is content just being with me.

I have to admit that it feels good to have a creature love me with this kind of love. Adoration, worship, trust—all qualities hard to come by in 2006. Unconditional love, no strings attached, is unheard of. Some might wonder why I want to be tied down with the responsibilities of a pet, but nurturing Jazzy and taking care of her is my privilege considering all the benefits I get in return.

When God created mankind, he designed us for this kind of fellowship. But it seems the very things He wants from us are the things we never find time to do. If I took an inventory of my relationship with God based on how Jazzy treats me, I must admit I come woefully short.

•Do I just want to be with Him, 24/7?
•Do I follow Him wherever He goes, rather than expecting Him to follow me?
•Do I rest at His feet?
•Do I adore and worship Him?
•Do I trust Him to meet my needs and even some of my wants?

I pray that Jazzy will be my reminder to love God with all my heart, soul, and might. And worship is never too strong of a word to describe my love for the One who made me, saved me and now abides in me.

Kathy Carlton Willis
Living Out Loud Communications
http://imlivingoutloud.blogspot.com/
ImLivingOutLoud@aol.com

Rescheduled!

When I went to the Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation Doctor regarding the Spinal Cord Stimulator, he said that he would put in the trial version, and then refer me to a neurosurgeon for the permanent version to be implanted. We asked about the timing of all this because we needed to plan for our busy Fall schedule. He told me that normally the "big" surgery is 2-3 weeks after the trial. So we planned accordingly (meals, help, postponement of big events on the schedule until later in the year, etc). His office also told me the surgery usually is scheduled in that time period, and even the Medtronics nurse, who has done this for 17 years and worked with these doctors-said the same thing. So we figured we could count on it.

Well, my trial device was taken out on August 1st, and I called the same day to make the appointment with the neurosurgeon. Their first available, at any of their 5 locations, was August 18th. You can imagine my frustration, knowing the surgery would be even later. Well, it gets worse! They called back a few days later and asked if I could go to a different location to see the surgeon, but on the same day. It is further away. But, because I want this over with, I said "SURE." They called today to confirm my appointment for the 18th, but then, just 2 hours later, they called back to say the surgeon can't see me until September!

I explained my frustrations (nicely-I know the receptionist can't help it). I told her what the PM&R office had led me to believe about surgery schedule. Also, I had already had my pre-surgery physical exam and EKG, and now they might need to do it over again closer to time(they had ordered a chest x-ray and labwork, but I had waited to do that-now I will wait even longer!).

So, now my neuro appointment is August 24th (she found an opening sooner than the September date) and because she felt sorry for my situation, she went ahead and scheduled my surgery even though the doc hasn't seen me yet, for September 14th. This is a full month later than when we had expected it to be scheduled. She did say she will call back if there are any cancellations.

Even though I'm disappointed in the delay, I'm trying to see the good in this. So, my reasoning for all this, is that maybe it is better this way so that my abscess can heal well, and we can be sure the infection is completely gone. By looking for a positive, it helps blow away the dark clouds!

Thanks!

Thanks to those who have been following my journey toward spinal cord stimulator surgery. Just wanted to give you an update on the progress. I went to the doctor's office yesterday (Friday) for my presurgery physical. They also looked at my wound from the incision and drainage procedure on Wednesday and removed the wicking. It is looking "clean" so that is good. Now I just keep it dry (no more antibiotic ointment) and wear a dressing over it until the wound heals shut. They didn't put stitches in it so that it would heal from the inside out and not fill up with any sort of fluid. They did an EKG, which was normal (no reason to think it wouldn't be). My blood pressure was down to 138/90, so that is much improved from what it was before. And I go for a chest x-ray and blood-work next week, in preparation for my neurosurgeon presurgery appointment next Friday. From there-we set the date and move forward! It should be in 2-3 weeks from now, we are guessing.

You have asked what I've been up to, so just wanted to share that my Jazzy dog is doing a great job of entertaining me (will have to write an article about her). And I've taken up rubber-stamping. I did this YEARS ago, but never had any "formal training." Now I have a friend (Thanks Betty!) helping me figure out how to dress the cards up a bit more. It's all in the supplies! My goal is to make all the thank-you cards I will need, and also all my Christmas cards. That should keep me busy for the 2 months I'll be recuperating. Also, we are going to dream up a neat craft project to do for favors for our Fall Friendship Tea at church (to be held in November).

Also, I have a new book idea, and have been writing the skeleton for it, so I can have a good foundation upon which to build. It's pretty exciting. I'll get a brainstorm at the oddest times, and so I keep pen and paper handy no matter where I am!

It's Out of Here!

I went to the internal medicine office today. My internist is away on maternity leave, so I got another doctor. Russ and I both liked her a great deal. She went over my medical history, with the various infections and cysts and the chronology for this current abscess. She did an exam and said the abscess had to be surgically opened, drained, scraped out, the wall of the abscess removed, and then saline rinsed. So she did that and left a wick to drain any further infection, then a dressing. I'm to go back on Friday for a checkup. The incision is about 1 cm in size-so not real big-but she did use forceps to open it more, and went in fairly deep to make sure she got it all.

I appreciated the fact that she was thorough, that she gave me a "play-by-play" as she did the procedure, and she didn't hurt me! Russ stood at my head and he said he watched my face to make sure I wasn't saying "I'm fine" if I was hurting. So he didn't actually watch the procedure-said it would gross him out. But the doc even checked on him to make sure he was doing okay while she was doing the procedure, so I thought that was really sweet. I'm sure she didn't want him to pass out!

Also she said that my lymph nodes in my groin are swollen from this infection. I have 3 more days of levaquin, so we will wait it out and see if this improves, since I haven't had a real fever after being on this latest antibiotic.

And she addressed the blood pressure problem I've had for the past two months. She checked it twice will I was there and it was high, and she noted how high it was when I went to urgent care, and how high it has been at home. She changed my medication and wants it rechecked when I come in on Friday. And will have me come in next week as well. She said they can't clear me for surgery until the blood pressure is under control or I could stroke out on the table.

She is hopeful that both the abscess and the hypertension will be okay so that I could have surgery in 3 weeks time.

She did say if the abscess doesn't clear it up, I'll have to have a "bigger" surgery with a surgeon, and also will have to see an infectious disease doctor. She also said with my history of infection, and with being on a low-dose chemotherapy (Methotrexate), that I should probably see an infectious disease doc anyway-he might want to do something to help prevent future infections.

She wrote on the bill that it was an incision and drainage of an abnormal wall abscess. And she prescribed 30 Vicodin to take for pain as I recover from this little surgical procedure. I thought that was sweet of her considering I had no pain medication at all after the trial of the spinal cord stimulator! I doubt I'll need 30, but they are nice to have on hand!

Wrinkles

"Try XYX Wrinkle Release Spray--it works!" The announcer goes on to tout the benefits of using the spray on all of our wrinkles. Then I realize he isn't talking about clothing, but SKIN!

In my dreams. There are concoctions and creams and scrubs and masks and even botox. When human beings willingly have botulism injected into their skin to erase wrinkles, we know wrinkle removal is a BIG DEAL. Youthful looks seem to make a difference in how a person gets ahead in life. It is so important that companies have invested in all manner of youth serums-it is BIG BUSINESS.

You say you are comfortable in your skin. A good test of this is when you get an invitation to your 25th high school reunion. Mine is this year, and it certainly has been a reality check for me!

I have to confess what sparked my mind to think about wrinkle removal. It all started with an e-mail for a recipe for homemade wrinkle release spray for clothing. It's basically fabric softener and water in a spray bottle. We also make homemade remedies to treat our skin from items we find in our kitchen: mayonnaise, egg whites, oatmeal, and more.

Ephesians 5:27 says, "That he [Christ] might present it [the church] to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish."

I'm guessing being wrinkle-free is important to Jesus too. Not our facial wrinkles or our wrinkled clothing, but our hearts. He desires His church to be chaste and without moral flaw. Just as Old Testament priests sacrificed only animals without spot or wrinkle, our Savior presented Himself as a sacrifice on our behalf, without flaw. He is now at work in us, making us more like Him. My job in the process is to be yielded to His wrinkle releasing powers.

I may not be successful in avoiding facial wrinkles in my lifetime, but I do pray I eradicate heart wrinkles with the spray of Jesus' love.

School Dress Codes-Looking Back

On one of the e-mail lists, we are discussing dress codes when we were in school. Here are some of my memories. If you were in my school, or my town, and remember more about the details, please do feel free to comment or write me off list. I'd love to know more!

When I started school in 1968, I was the first class of kindergarten in our school district. Before that, school started with first grade and some attended a private kindergarten if they wished. I didn't have a dress code in the elementary school, but while I was in elementary school, the older girls (junior high and high school) had a dress code. These older girls said they couldn't wear pants to school. And then when slacks were allowed, they could not be jeans.

BUT-when I started junior high I had to wear a uniform for gym class. It was a one piece shorts jumpsuit with a zipper, blue bottom part and blue and white striped upper part. Seems like it was sleeveless. That same year, they changed the rules so we were allowed to wear regular street clothes in gym class. We stuffed our gym lockers with T-shirts and shorts and deodorant, of course! The cool girls took their clothes home every Friday to launder, but the "skags" (not nice, I know now) often let their clothes ripen before they took them home. Oh---the memories!

I'm not sure why the dress code seemed to always change just as I was emerging on the scene, but I love hearing about dress codes.

I remember a page of rules for the dress code when I entered high school. Girls were not allowed to go bra-less or wear spaghetti strap tops to school, and no one could wear shorts. If the temperatures got into the 90s, sometimes they would bend the rules.

From what I notice of times today, school dress code rules are extremely different (or nonexistent) unless the school has required uniforms.

Interesting to observe the changing of the times!

Boil Watch

For those of you who are wondering, I'm still treating the abscessed boil at home with antibiotics, hot compresses, and draining it twice a day. It hasn't really changed much in size or color for the better or worse. I'll get my culture and sensitivity testing back on Monday. The combination of the infection and the antibiotic is making me SICK (that is ICK with an ssss in front of it!).

But our friend Tom has it soooo much worse. He had what he thought was a pimple or ingrown hair on his face. Yesterday he woke up and the side of his face was swollen and infected. Today he is in SURGERY.

The hospital says this sort of thing is really going around, so BE CAREFUL. Practice LOTS of handwashing!

A Crazy Boil Has Surfaced!

I went to Urgent Care this morning about a boil that has popped up on my abdomen. There's no way to be delicate with words-so I'll just say it-it was oozing pus. The doctor confirmed it was a boil-a skin abscess. He expressed some of the pus and sent it off for culture and sensitivity testing. He then expressed as much of the pus as he could from the pocket.

He is concerned that since I have been on antibiotics since Friday, was on IV antibiotic at the hospital on Friday-and the very fact that I was-AT THE HOSPITAL on Friday bothered him. (I'm assuming this means he thinks I picked this up there). He is afraid it could be MRSA-antibiotic resistant staph infection. We will know in 3-4 days if that is the case.

In the meantime, he switched me to Levaquin rather than the other antibiotic I was on, as well as a type of antibiotic that is in gel form to rub into my nose because he said this type of infection tends to colonize in the nose for some reason. It hasn't yet, but he wants to be proactive.

I am to do hot compresses twice daily to express whatever I can from the sore. Also to observe it because if it gets bigger and isn't draining on its own he will need to open it up to drain it.

I didn't have a fever at the office today, but my blood pressure was 168/120. It did go down to 159/104 before I left, from sitting there for two hours with no stimulus. I'm to mention the hypertension when I go to my doc next Friday.

But for now the biggest thing on the agenda is to keep this infection from going to my bloodstream.

I appreciate your concern and prayers!

FINDING GRACE

I've been looking for Grace for the past several years. Grace is something that fascinates me. The more I learn about grace, the more I realize how woefully lacking I am. Not that I lack God's grace because I have found His grace is sufficient. What I am short of is BEING gracious. I am learning how to humble myself and surrender my needs through Life's lessons. There's no such thing as a Christian having certain rights; I don't deserve anything at all. This year is half over and I still hope to make progress when it comes to BEING gracious. I am drawn to people of grace. They don't even realize they are exuding grace, it just flows naturally out of them.

Here's the key. I can't fake being gracious. I can't work up true humility. I can't work at being virtuous. I can have a long list of do's and don'ts but that won't make me gracious. I can look real good like shining brass but tarnish will show up over time-often when I'm tested. And when I'm tested,
what is on the inside is going to come out. The key is much like the truth Dorothy learned during her trip to Oz. I found grace inside of me. It was there all along. And I will see my graciousness grow as my relationship with my Heavenly Father grows.

I hope to have the fruit of Grace as I grow. Grace bears many types of fruit. Fruit like: joyfulness, sincerity, peacefulness, contentedness, humility. A woman of grace has a beautiful countenance that reflects the glow of Jesus. She has a simple elegance that draws others to her. Her virtues are respected throughout the land. She lacks bitterness because she doesn't hold a grudge. Her positive outlook keeps her focus where it needs to be. Her mouth and attitudes are in check, disciplined by the principles found in God's Word. She is a woman of prayer to a God she is intimately familiar with. What a lovely woman!

Of course, men can also seek to have more grace in their lives. I know it is tough to be both macho and gracious, but here is a reality check for you, “Real men DO eat quiche!” In other words, no matter how tough the exterior, men and women both can have a heart full of grace as they allow God to work in their lives.

Romans 12:10 says “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.” To me, that is what grace is all about.

Still growing as a human being, not a human doing.

It's Out (For Now)

I am WHOOPED! The trial is over and the lead wire is out of my back. I was having a hard time letting my fears and doubts and feelings affect my decision about how well the device was working, so I typed up an evaluation sheet (which you saw on an earlier entry). When I took it to the doc and the Medtronics nurse, they said it was a slam dunk! Their goal is only 50% improvement to be considered a success (because it is unrealistic to totally block pain). So when they saw some of my numbers at the 75% range, they were happy-happy!

It hurt like crazy when they pulled the lead wire with the electrodes on it out of my spine, but the doc was very careful, and very caring to narrate what he was doing when. He said I was a trooper. I just tried to grin and bear it and quote "this too shall pass." And it did!

I have a larger Band-Aid on, and can't get that part of my body wet for 24 hours. But they let me take a shower on my "front" and I could bend my head forward to wash my hair. So that felt good!

I called the neurosurgeon's office, and they made my presurgery consultation for August 18th. While I'm waiting, they want me to call my internist to do a surgery clearance (EKG, Chest X-ray, bloodwork and clearance of all my health problems before surgery).

My Survey of the Stimulator

Where Do I Have Pain, And Does SCS Help?
==> Low Back 50%
==> Buttocks 70%
==> Legs 75%

When Do I Have Pain, And Does SCS Help?
==> In Bed 50-60%
==> In Church 65%
==> In the Car 65%
==> Sitting 65%
==> Standing 75%
==> Walking 75%
==> At Computer 50%
==> Shopping 65%

When Do I Not Like SCS As Strong?
==> Mental tasks (hard to focus)
==> On toilet
==> In bed
==> Walking

What Kinds of Pain, And Does SCS Help?
Constant dull pain
==> Back, 50%
==> Butt, 70%
==> Legs, 75%

Sharp stabbing pain
==> Back, 50%
==> Buttocks, 80%
==> Legs, 65%

Neuropathic Pain, No it does not help, seems similar

Muscle cramps/spasms
==> Back, 65%
==> Buttocks, 75%
==> Legs, 75%

Sacral area, in hospital it helped 80%, at home, down to 65%